Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2005/08/02
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]this discussion began with Tina Manley showing some of her beautiful photographs of a large Pakistani arranged marriage. There were at least two additional important details that were apparant: 1) the bride and groom looked variously sad, bored, and disinterested...2) the photographs were taken as part of a project to help us understand the events of 9/11... With regard to the second point and the subsequent discussions, I did not see the connection to 9/11 then, and I understand it even less now... Steve On Aug 2, 2005, at 11:27 PM, Dennis Painter wrote: > I will explain what has been related to me about arranged marriages > in China with > the caveat that I may well be inaccurate or incomplete. I do think > that many of us > are making a mistake to comment and/or judge something we do not > have the > knowledge or background to understand. I also think we have to be > careful about > judging other's culture using our standards. > > The family is all important to the Chinese. The children are reared > with that > deeply ingrained and know that the parents will work very hard to > arrange the best > possible marriage for both sons and daughters, neither have a > "veto" on the > decision. In fact to show any sign of not accepting the parents > decision would > dishonor the entire family. To bring dishonor is unforgivable. > > The parents of both families will confer over a long period of time > to ensure that > the two will be compatible and that the marriage successful, for > if not it will > bring shame to the families. > > Is the wife in this marriage subservient? well I suppose it depends > on your > definition, she is "second in command" to the husband, but she is > as important as > him within the family unit. He will confide and consult with her > but he will make > the final decisions. > > To say that this system is somehow flawed because the husband and > wife do not make > their own marriage decisions is to apply the standards of your > culture to another > culture. Perhaps if the people of the world could stop doing this > there would be > less strife and conflict. > > My limited knowledge is with respect to the people of China, no > doubt there are > other societies and cultures that have different customs. > > Times are, and have, been changing bringing changes to families > throughout the > world especially in urban areas. Are these changes good? I hope so, > I suppose time > will tell. > > I do hope some of our Asian members will correct my errors an > omissions, off list > if they wish, but no matter what I most certainly will not feel > insulted to be set > right on any of this. > > See you in the forum ;-) > Dennis > > > Mark Langer wrote: > > >> I'm unaware that there are any studies that demonstrate that arranged >> marriages are less successful than the kind predominant in the West. >> The kinds of abuse that Nathan attributes to arranged marriages can >> easily be equalled by abuses found in our system of marriage in the >> West. Frankly, I suspect that parents wanting a good future for >> their >> children may make more rational and mature decisions than the >> children >> would themselves. I also find it strange that this should be likened >> to female circumcision. Here's one North American who is with you on >> this matter Jayanand. >> >> Mark >> >> On 8/2/05, Jayanand Govindaraj <jgovindaraj@eth.net> wrote: >> >>> You equate an arranged marriage with female circumcision? Wow! >>> Liberal >>> European thinking!! >>> Cheers >>> Jayanand Govindaraj >>> Chennai, India >>> (who has been happily married for 27 years through an arranged >>> marriage, and >>> has had no problem with it) >>> >>> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Leica Users Group. >> See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information >> > > > > _______________________________________________ > Leica Users Group. > See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information >