Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2005/08/02

[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]

Subject: [Leica] Piercings and Tatoos
From: kididdoc at cox.net (Steve Barbour)
Date: Tue Aug 2 23:46:50 2005
References: <6.2.3.4.2.20050731152050.01ee5b00@mail.rhtc.net> <42EEFDDD.2030405@planet.nl> <007e01c59765$06eca3f0$0201a8c0@jayanand> <ceb1a5650508021217fc0d36f@mail.gmail.com> <42F063BA.1D974B0F@hale-pohaku.com>

this discussion began with Tina Manley showing some of her beautiful  
photographs of a large Pakistani arranged marriage.

There were at least two additional important details that were  
apparant: 1) the bride and groom looked variously sad,  bored, and  
disinterested...2) the photographs were taken as part of a project to  
help us understand the events of 9/11...

With regard to the second point and the subsequent discussions,  I  
did not see the connection to 9/11 then, and I understand it even  
less now...

Steve

On Aug 2, 2005, at 11:27 PM, Dennis Painter wrote:

> I will explain what has been related to me about arranged marriages  
> in China with
> the caveat that I may well be inaccurate or incomplete. I do think  
> that many of us
> are making a mistake to comment and/or judge something we do not  
> have the
> knowledge or background to understand. I also think we have to be  
> careful about
> judging other's culture using our standards.
>
> The family is all important to the Chinese. The children are reared  
> with that
> deeply ingrained and know that the parents will work very hard to  
> arrange the best
> possible marriage for both sons and daughters, neither have a  
> "veto" on the
> decision. In fact to show any sign of not accepting the parents  
> decision would
> dishonor the entire family. To bring dishonor is unforgivable.
>
> The parents of both families will confer over a long period of time  
> to ensure that
> the two will be compatible and that  the marriage successful, for  
> if not it will
> bring shame to the families.
>
> Is the wife in this marriage subservient? well I suppose it depends  
> on your
> definition, she is "second in command" to the husband, but she is  
> as important as
> him within the family unit. He will confide and consult with her  
> but he will make
> the final decisions.
>
> To say that this system is somehow flawed because the husband and  
> wife do not make
> their own marriage decisions is to apply the standards of your  
> culture to another
> culture. Perhaps if the people of the world could stop doing this  
> there would be
> less strife and conflict.
>
> My limited knowledge is with respect to the people of China, no  
> doubt there are
> other societies and cultures that have different customs.
>
> Times are, and have, been changing bringing changes to families  
> throughout the
> world especially in urban areas. Are these changes good? I hope so,  
> I suppose time
> will tell.
>
> I do hope some of our Asian members will correct my errors an  
> omissions, off list
> if they wish, but no matter what I most certainly will not feel  
> insulted to be set
> right on any of this.
>
> See you in the forum ;-)
> Dennis
>
>
> Mark Langer wrote:
>
>
>> I'm unaware that there are any studies that demonstrate that arranged
>> marriages are less successful than the kind predominant in the West.
>> The kinds of abuse that Nathan attributes to arranged marriages can
>> easily be equalled by abuses found in our system of marriage in the
>> West.  Frankly, I suspect that parents wanting a good future for  
>> their
>> children may make more rational and mature decisions than the  
>> children
>> would themselves.  I also find it strange that this should be likened
>> to female circumcision.  Here's one North American who is with you on
>> this matter Jayanand.
>>
>> Mark
>>
>> On 8/2/05, Jayanand Govindaraj <jgovindaraj@eth.net> wrote:
>>
>>> You equate an arranged marriage with female circumcision? Wow!  
>>> Liberal
>>> European thinking!!
>>> Cheers
>>> Jayanand Govindaraj
>>> Chennai, India
>>> (who has been happily married for 27 years through an arranged  
>>> marriage, and
>>> has had no problem with it)
>>>
>>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> Leica Users Group.
>> See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information
>>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Leica Users Group.
> See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information
>


Replies: Reply from images at InfoAve.Net (Tina Manley) ([Leica] Piercings and Tatoos)
In reply to: Message from images at InfoAve.Net (Tina Manley) ([Leica] Piercings and Tatoos)
Message from nathan.wajsman at planet.nl (Nathan Wajsman) ([Leica] Piercings and Tatoos)
Message from jgovindaraj at eth.net (Jayanand Govindaraj) ([Leica] Piercings and Tatoos)
Message from langeratcarleton at gmail.com (Mark Langer) ([Leica] Piercings and Tatoos)
Message from dennis at hale-pohaku.com (Dennis Painter) ([Leica] Piercings and Tatoos)