[Leica] IMG: Fuzzillogic 6 - Rules!

[tedgrant at shaw.ca (Ted Grant)]

OK you guys and gals dancing on the table & scotch...  how's this? :-)

My briefing from a well experienced world traveled friend journalist trying
to look out for me prior to first assignment in Japan. He started: "You are
so stupid here's what not to do in Japan! Remember pay attention to every
single word I say!" 

1/ Do not go into bar with a guy on the street telling you they have the
prettiest girls in the world and the booze is cheap!" 

2/ Do not buy the girls a drink!

3/ Do not sit at a table and order a drink!

4/ Do not buy the girls a drink! 

5/ Do not order munchies with your drink

6/ Do stand at the bar!

7/ Do not order the girls a drink!

8/ Do not sit at a table with a girl

9/ Do not order Scotch, order Suntory

10/ Do not have more than one drink!

"Are you paying attention? Says he.

Me? "Yep every word! And shook my head in the affirmative!

Arrive in Tokyo early evening, check into hotel, decide a walk will help me
sleep!

I can't go wrong, walk up this side of the street, cross over and back on
the other side. Seemed simple enough. Right? 

I'm dong fine Leica slung on shoulder in case and just about to hotel and
guy says, "hey you American?" Me, "No Canadian."   Fuzzillogic sets in!

He says, "Many Canadians come here! You from Vancouver?" Dumb ass says,
"Yeah that's close." He takes me by the arm and says.. "Best girls in world
here, drinks cheap!" 

And like a lamb to slaughter I walk in. He says something in Japanese and I
have 4 gorgeous women on my arms and breathing about my neck! Smiling and
giggling, damn if they were any closer I'd have "neck Hickies" before I "sat
down at the table!"  :-(

NOTE:  How many rules have I broken at this point? :-) 

"You like drink?" as she sits down beside me at "my table?"  "Sure I'll have
(ready?) "A single malt scotch!" And she says, "and me?" I like a kid right
off the farm says, " Sure OK but only one!" She smiles and I kind of wilt!
Another wench sits down, the most gorgeous wench in the place and smiles.
Damn another drink! :-)

Guy brings bowl of munchies with drinks and adds it to the tab now written
in Japanese! Now a girl on each side are so close I can hardly drink let
alone breath!

Oh heck order another "scotch!"  Followed by, "And me too?" Big smiles! 

"Oh well what the hell I've never been to Japan before why not? OK!"
Fuzzillogic hits again!

Finally I figure I better get out of here as time had slipped by quicker
than a witch in flight. So with a hundred yards to the front door of the
hotel and safety I order the bill!! Well OK eh? There goes my per diem as I
look forward to bread and water for the next five days! :-)

So I tried to remember the rules about what not to do in Japan but
Fuzzillogic intervened as I made my way to the hotel and figured; 

 "Oh well what the hell there's a first time for everything and rules are
made to be broken!" Fuzzillogic forever!!

ted