[Leica] OT Completely : Humour

[gregj.lorenzo at shaw.ca (GREG LORENZO)]

An Update on Security Alerts

     Author: David 
Duval
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

 
 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats 
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." 
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even 
"A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 
when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have been 
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the 
British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire 
of 1666.
 

 
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its 
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in 
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a 
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively 
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of 
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" 
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective 
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to 
"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher 
levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only 
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. 
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy 
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
 
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Greg J. Lorenzo
Calgary, Alberta