Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2013/07/04

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Subject: [Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology
From: michael.t.russ at gmail.com (Michael Russ)
Date: Thu, 04 Jul 2013 18:48:33 -0400
References: <CAOfQYBu4utKJ9=y0sDjqkCsbMiQ_0jp7L3-JxwOiZQuxgL_oLA@mail.gmail.com><CAH1UNJ2jZTJtiKqfQZ1SGzu3UAO9TvY7aqR3+dt-LPfnvNdwmg@mail.gmail.com><CAFfkXxuNKv=eaSVSgOds-gQhNmbH=kFqx0Tvw9eGwhVmWR2njg@mail.gmail.com><CAH1UNJ1SQayXnZDB5tJuS4XT_vtD6vwffSk21kcOmR=PidCHkQ@mail.gmail.com><552DCDB8C53147638DC636C07D57264D@billHP><wJmC1l00t0AFV7C01JmDii@mac.com><698935B8BA434BDA92BDC2760C7AE397@billHP> <43E23EB2-3984-4794-9674-03141EC65786@mac.com> <9AA12B54C06547F29C079022388BF49F@syneticfeba505>

To play devil's advocate - whose upbringing gets to set the rules for 
what is considered polite?

Perhaps this woman had not been raised in an environment where people 
used "dear" in that manner.  I grew up in New Jersey, and my family only 
used the word "dear" when writing letters or talking with people who 
really were dear.

In that context, if a stranger or someone I only work with 
professionally were to call me "dear", I would feel a bit creepy and 
perhaps even annoyed that he or she would have presumed to be that close 
to me.  I might even be haughty enough to say that it was impolite.

You should have aired your thoughts as you thought them, notwithstanding 
your desire to maintain decorum.  She could have told you why your 
"dear" set her off, and the both of you most likely would have found 
that both of you were overreacting.  You might have found that she had a 
good reason for overreacting.



On 7/4/13 5:31 PM, tedgrant at shaw.ca wrote:
> OK folks here's the stupidest word relationship to this whole subject and 
> how my life evolved to this modern day use of such a simple word as "Dear. 
> dear. DEAR!"  READY? If ever I was ready to kill the stupid bitch !!!!!!
>
> OK HERE WE GO.>>>>
>
> I grew-up in an English-Welsh language old country fashion family in use 
> of the word.... "Dear, dear in more connotations than is posible to recall.
>
>   A few:
> "What  a dear boy."
> What a dear girl?"
> What a dear Lady
>
> And yes, "What a dear man when a hand of support was offered or door 
> opened for a lady! ......... (referring to all kinds of ages.}
>
> Male or female responses to so many situations it's immpossible to list 
> them all.
>
> "Thanks dear!"  Male to female.... stranger or friend and never seen as a 
> negative.
> The above comment in reverse female to male. Still no inflection other 
> than... a kind of "thanks!"
>
> Not to waste space I'm sure you have the idea? A simple kind of "thank 
> you!"
>
> Then came a year ago and I'm introduced to one of those "over educated 
> university type women wearing a "straight-jacket of a face, posture, dress 
> and God Forbid............ "ATTITUDE!!!" AAACCCCKKKKK ! PUKE! :-(
>
> So after a few days of meetings and becoming familiar with the crew 
> involved in the project the "bitch offerd a simple instruction to me. :-) 
> Yeah me! A light kind of missive.  "AND WITH OUT ANY THOUGHT ON MY PART. I 
> RESPOND QUITE LIGHT HEARTEDLY............ "Ok dear right away!!!" As I'm 
> about to jump to her request............. "THIS SCREAMING VOICE OF A 
> VAMPIRE REPONDS WITH AND EVERYBODY COULD HEAR HER!!!!!!!!
>
> " I'M NOT YOUR DEAR!!!!! NEVER USE THAT WORD AGAIN WHEN SPEAKING TO 
> ME........... I'M CHRISTINA!!!!!!! NOT YOUR DEAR!!!!!!!!"
>
> YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP IN THE ROOM!!!!!! ME? IN MY MIND........ 
> "IGNORANT BITCH!!!!!! AND NEARLY SAID IT!!!!!  A gentleman of course 
> wouldn't in any event! So I responded in a flash....... "Sorry just for a 
> moment  my thoughts were about my Mom. Sorry to offend you m'am!" And from 
> that moment on I never addressed her by name, but anything I could work 
> around it! More fun waiting  to see if I could get her to rip me again? :-)
>
> 85 years vertical & breathing on Mother Earth  and never ever had a female 
> scream at me in such a vulgar fashion over such a wonderful million dollar 
> multi-use meaning word!! "Dear!"
>
> And they walk amongst us, small minded short on meaning in the use of our 
> wonderful language.!!!!!!!!!! God help-us over such a small word 
> use!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Later when I described the event to my "WONDERFUL ... SHE 
> WHO MUST BE OBEYED!" :-)
>
> Sorry I can't repeat what she said about this poor damsel in word mental 
> distress!!!!!!!!!! ;-) :-) However let's say she was more than annoyed 
> with her....... "THE BITCH!" :-) Later I did think of a great number of 
> words I could've called her. But dismissed them simply because if I used 
> any, all I'd do is belittle myself! Not worth the time in the life of a 
> gentleman! :-)
>
> cheers,
> Dr. ted :-)
>
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>


Replies: Reply from tedgrant at shaw.ca (tedgrant at shaw.ca) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
In reply to: Message from pswango at att.net (Phil Swango) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from jayanand at gmail.com (Jayanand Govindaraj) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from sonc.hegr at gmail.com (Sonny Carter) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from jayanand at gmail.com (Jayanand Govindaraj) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from billcpearce at cox.net (Bill Pearce) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from billcpearce at cox.net (Bill Pearce) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from imagist3 at mac.com (George Lottermoser) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)
Message from tedgrant at shaw.ca (tedgrant at shaw.ca) ([Leica] Politically Incorrect terminology)