Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2005/01/29
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]The story Seth posted gives me a rare opportunity - to pass a great story along to my boss, instead of the other way around. Thanks Seth. :-) Doug Herr Birdman of Sacramento http://www.wildlightphoto.com on 1/29/05 6:41 PM, Douglas M.Sharp at douglas.sharp@gmx.de wrote: > Seth, > The story is absolutely brilliant (and so fantastic that it must be true) > Thanks very much for posting it, it's already stored in the "best of" > directory. > Douglas, now warily eyeing Posy the cat, at present asleep (about 60cm away > from my wedding tackle). > > Seth Rosner wrote: >> Jerry's back-and-forth with Doug and Douglas compels me to forward to >> the list an hilarious email rec'd yesterday from Ken Rankin, a senior >> American Airlines exec and a high-end Leica purveyor of Leicas and Leica >> gear on eBay. With apologies to those with sensibilities: >> >> THE CAT >> With everyone stressed-out and over-worked - this will take some of the >> stress away. As Dr. Phil says it's good for the soul! Here is some >> poor man's experience with his wife's cat. >> >> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how >> legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm >> lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, >> because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned >> that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to >> coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy >> to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred >> mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little >> kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. >> >> Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my >> wife, Deb, called out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage >> disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." >> >> "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower >> pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" >> >> "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me >> in?" >> >> There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a >> second." >> >> So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent >> outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her >> behavior as extremely cowardly. >> >> Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find >> the button. ...It is the last action I remember performing. >> >> It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. >> No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal >> teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling >> objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around >> the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the >> precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leaped at the toys I >> unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost >> all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly moving >> at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging >> from my masculine region. Wild animals are sometimes faced with a >> "fight or flight" syndrome. Men,in this predicament, choose only the >> "flight" option. I know this from experience. >> >> I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly >> and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me >> out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now >> there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying >> on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, >> done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my >> wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct >> their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical >> laughter.... and not succeeding. >> >> Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back >> in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of >> me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to >> talk about, which it was. >> >> "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" >> >> If they only knew! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> Leica Users Group. >> See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information >> >> > _______________________________________________ > Leica Users Group. > See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information