[Leica] My kitty - Seth's cat story

[douglas.sharp at gmx.de (Douglas M.Sharp)]

Seth,
The story is absolutely brilliant (and so fantastic that it must be true)
Thanks very much for posting it, it's already stored in the "best of" 
directory.
Douglas, now warily eyeing Posy the cat, at present asleep (about 60cm away
from my wedding tackle).

Seth Rosner wrote:
> Jerry's back-and-forth with Doug and Douglas compels me to forward to 
> the list an hilarious email rec'd yesterday from Ken Rankin, a senior 
> American Airlines exec and a high-end Leica purveyor of Leicas and Leica 
> gear on eBay. With apologies to those with sensibilities:
> 
> THE CAT
> With everyone stressed-out and over-worked  - this will take some of the 
> stress away.  As Dr. Phil says it's good for the soul!  Here is some 
> poor man's experience with his wife's cat.
> 
> Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.  No matter how 
> legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm 
> lying.  On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, 
> because the truth was just too darned humiliating.  I simply mentioned 
> that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to 
> coming in the next day.  By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy 
> to explain the bandage on the top of my head.  The accident occurred 
> mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little 
> kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
> 
> Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my 
> wife, Deb, called out to me from the kitchen.  "Honey! The garbage 
> disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
> 
> "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower 
> pitter-patter and steam.  "Reset it yourself!"
> 
> "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
> 
> There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a 
> second."
> 
> So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent 
> outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her 
> behavior as extremely cowardly.
> 
> Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find 
> the button.  ...It is the last action I remember performing.
> 
> It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.  
> No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal 
> teeth.  It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling 
> objects she spied hanging between my legs.  She had been poised around 
> the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink.  And, at the 
> precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leaped at the toys I 
> unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.  I lost 
> all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly moving 
> at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging 
> from my masculine region.  Wild animals are sometimes faced with a 
> "fight or flight" syndrome.  Men,in this predicament, choose only the 
> "flight" option.  I know this from experience.
> 
> I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly 
> and forcefully impeded my ascent.  The impact knocked me
> out cold.  When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.  Now 
> there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying 
> on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, 
> done-that" paramedics.  Even worse, having been fully briefed by my 
> wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct 
> their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical 
> laughter.... and not succeeding.
> 
> Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back 
> in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of 
> me about my head injury.  I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to 
> talk about, which it was.
> 
> "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
> 
> If they only knew!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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