Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2002/07/23
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]From: "kyle cassidy" <kcassidy@asc.upenn.edu> To: <leica-users@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us> Sent: 23 July 2002 16:15 Subject: [Leica] 'this is how the photo business works.... > So, a few months ago I get a call from Artemis records. Am the guy who > photographed Carfax Abbey? Indeed. Can I fly to Ohio in two weeks to > photograph Lollippplustkill? Sadly the dates don't work for me. No problem, > Artemis will fly the band to Philadelphia. Shall they work out details with > my assistant? My assistant? I put down the phone and pick it up again > speaking in a deeper voice, "This is Mr. Cassidy's assistant. Please send a > CD, Mr. Cassidy will get back to you." They send me a CD. It's fantastic. I > call back in a deep voice, "This is Mr. Cassidy's assistant. He likes the CD > and would be happy to photograph the band." Artemis puts six guys on an > airplane and ships them out to the East Coast. Then they fly two record > company execs plus one manager down from New York to look over my shoulder > and make me nervous. Can the Leicaslacker perform when people are actually > paying him? The makeup artist and hairstylist take over my living room with > aluminum cases filled with potions and powders. I'm so baffled by the whole > thing I take a bunch of pictures of the whirlwind in my house. Nobody > wonders where my assistant is, the place is filled with so many sychophants > they assume that within the various colliding entourages some of them must > be mine. I wonder briefly if I should have called some models and had them > lounge around the place drinking martini's. The bass player pops their CD > into the sterio and stands between the speakers in a trance, leaning > forward, eyes closed, windows rattling. I'm wondering if the band is going > to trash my place. Oddly enough, they're all very polite and use coasters. > They look through my portfolio and say it's a little "too edgy" for them. Is > this not the band who sings "Kill my mother, Kill my father, I want to watch > you DIE!"? The band who's new album is called "My Socalled Knife" is wigged > out by pictures of dead rats and girls cutting themselves? The guitar player > asks Linda if she ever worries about hell. It seems to be troubling him > deeply. At midnight the record company execs take us out to a fancy hotel > bar where most of the band proceeds to get incredibly wasted (with the > exception of one guy who doesn't drink; he eats a lot of trailmix), I > photograph them scaring people in the lobby. There is a Cutco convention in > the hotel and one of the guitar players grabs a sword out of a presentation > display and runs around the bar screaming and waving it in the air. I get > great stuff. The band gets spotted by fans. They autograph cocktail napkins. > One of them goes upstairs with a pair of girls. Linda and I drink a hundred > dollars worth of cosmopolitians. The band drinks considerably more. The > record exec puts it on his corporate AmEx. The next morning we drive to > numerous locations in a swank rented van, I photograph more. They've rented > the lobbey of the Hotel Softel. we shoot there too. One of my strobes > breaks. One of my cameras jams. I pretend that nothing is wrong. Why did my > assistant forget to bring the bracket that connects the umbrella to the > stand? Where is my assistant? Obviously, I fired that irrisponsible bastard > for not bringing the proper umbrella bracket. I tape the umbrella to the > stand with gaffers tape. Periodically I speak into the dialtone of my cell > phone barking things like "If it's not properly color corrected I take my > business elsewhere. Don't fuc|< with me you little weasel; you're not the > only pro lab in town." The record execs seem pleased by this. We shoot for > two days. I make somewhere around twelve hundred exposures. They pay me > handsomely, somehow not having figured out in 48 hours that I'm a complete > fraud. Three months later I get a copy of the CD in the mail, containing > three of my most lackluster images, one intentionally blurred and two > montaged with someone elses photos the band's only in two of the photos, it > looks swell but what about all those great shots? You can't really see the > band, let alone expensive hair and makeup. No wonder CD's cost a fortune.... > > If you like Korn and Tool, you'll probably like LLK..... > > http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000066JH5/qid=1027433650/sr=2-1/ref= > sr_2_1/102-3603718-9599307 > > Capitol letters inserted for Jim Brick. > > kc > > No Archive > ====================================================================== As far as I am concerned this type of stuff is the heartbeat of the LUG. I read it much the same slack jawed sort of way that I read http://www.dantestella.com/stories/ciara.html . Beyond that statement words fail me. Graham http://geebeephoto.com - -- To unsubscribe, see http://mejac.palo-alto.ca.us/leica-users/unsub.html