[Leica] OT Heaven and Hell

[Robert Appleby and Susan Darlow <laintal@tin.it>]

There was a post on the LUG (or maybe LEG) some time back about the
relative temperatures of Heaven and Hell, in which it was shown that Heaven
is actually hotter than Hell. Given the low probability of anyone on this
list ever going to Heaven, this was a great relief to all of us, I'm sure.
However, on mature reflection, all pictures of Hell show _naked_ people
running around being pitchforked by the devils and  all, so what if hell is
actually very cold? What if it actually freezes over? No clothing is
allowed in Hell. That would also be uncomfortable. I am now able to provide
research results which conclusively show that Hell does not freeze over. It
follows that Hell actually has quite a pleasant climate, certainly better
than Heaven's. Champagne all round, I think! 

Subject:  Thermodynamics of Hell
> > >
> > >
> > > The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington
> > > chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor
> shared
> > it
> > > with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it
as
> > well.
> > >
> > > Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs
> > > heat)?
> > > Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
> (gas
> > cools
> > > off when it expands and heats up when it is  compressed) or some
> variant.
> > One
> > > student, however, wrote the following:
> > >
> > > First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we
> need
> > to
> > > know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
> > leaving. I
> > > think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will
> not
> > > leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
> entering
> > Hell,
> > > lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some
> of
> > > these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
> you
> > will
> > > go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and
since
> > people
> > do
> > > not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls
go
> to
> > Hell.
> > > With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in
> > > Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of
> the
> > volume
> > > in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
and
> > > pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
as
> souls
> > are
> > > added.  This gives two possibilities:
> > >
> > > 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter
> > > Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all
> Hell
> > > breaks loose.
> > >
> > > 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of
> > souls
> > > in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes
> > over.
> > >
> > > So which is it?
> > > If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my
> Freshman
> > year,
> > > that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you!", and
take
> into
> > > account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual
> relations
> > with
> > > her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
exothermic
> and
> > > will not freeze.
> > >
> > > The student received the only "A" given.
> >
 
Robert Appleby and Sue Darlow
Via Bellentani 36
41100 Modena
Italy
Tel/fax [39] 059 303436