RE: [Leica] REALLY off topic....but

["B. D. Colen" <bdcolen@earthlink.net>]

Well, David, I shudder to think that these replies are really real, but they
are funny as hell! And, yes, you can easily substitute Leica into each
exchange...

B. D.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: owner-leica-users@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
> [mailto:owner-leica-users@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us]On Behalf Of David
> Medley
> Sent: Tuesday, September 28, 1999 8:18 PM
> To: leica-users@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us
> Subject: [Leica] REALLY off topic....but
>
>
> sometimes it makes as much sense as what I see on the LUG
> from time to time.
>
> My daughter and son-in-law are both pilots and passed this on
> to dear old
> dad. I am fly vicariously through them as my wife has white
> knuckle problems
> within 5 miles of the airport.
>
> Perhaps if you substitute "M-6" for "aircraft" and
> "Summicron" for "engine"
> it comes closer to home than any of us would care to admit.
>
>
>
>  "Squawks" are problems noted by U. S. Air Force pilots and left for
>  maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.  Here are
> some actual
>  maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and
> the replies
>  from the maintenance crews.
>  (P) = Problem
>  (S) = Solution
>
> (P)  Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> (S)  Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
> (P)  Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
> (S)  Auto land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> (P)  # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
> (S)  # 2 propeller seepage normal - # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack
>             normal seepage.
>
> (P)  Something loose in cockpit.
> (S)  Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> (P)  Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> (S)  Evidence removed.
>
> (P)  DME volume unbelievably loud.
> (S)  Volume set to more believable level.
>
> (P)  Dead bugs on windshield.
> (S)  Live bugs on order.
>
> (P)  Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
> (S)  Cannot reproduce problems on ground.
>
> (P)  IFF inoperative.
> (S)  IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> (P)  Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> (S)  That's what they're there for.
>
> (P)  Number three engine missing.
> (S)  Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> (P)  Aircraft handles funny.
> (S)  Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious.
>
> (P)  Target Radar hums.
> (S)  Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words
>
> Cheers,
> David Medley
> Whidbey Is.   WA
> USA
> dmedley@whidbey.net
>
>
>
>
>
>
>