Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2008/01/23

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Subject: [Leica] IMG: Fuzzillogic 6 - Rules!
From: rpalmier at (bob palmieri)
Date: Wed Jan 23 20:52:30 2008
References: <>

On Jan 22, 2008, Ted wrote:

> OK you guys and gals dancing on the table & scotch...  how's this? :-)
> My briefing from a well experienced world traveled friend  
> journalist trying
> to look out for me prior to first assignment in Japan. He started:  
> "You are
> so stupid here's what not to do in Japan! Remember pay attention to  
> every
> single word I say!"
> 1/ Do not go into bar with a guy on the street telling you they  
> have the
> prettiest girls in the world and the booze is cheap!"
> 2/ Do not buy the girls a drink!
> 3/ Do not sit at a table and order a drink!
> 4/ Do not buy the girls a drink!
> 5/ Do not order munchies with your drink
> 6/ Do stand at the bar!
> 7/ Do not order the girls a drink!
> 8/ Do not sit at a table with a girl
> 9/ Do not order Scotch, order Suntory
> 10/ Do not have more than one drink!
> "Are you paying attention? Says he.
> Me? "Yep every word! And shook my head in the affirmative!
> Arrive in Tokyo early evening, check into hotel, decide a walk will  
> help me
> sleep!
> I can't go wrong, walk up this side of the street, cross over and  
> back on
> the other side. Seemed simple enough. Right?
> I'm dong fine Leica slung on shoulder in case and just about to  
> hotel and
> guy says, "hey you American?" Me, "No Canadian."   Fuzzillogic sets  
> in!
> He says, "Many Canadians come here! You from Vancouver?" Dumb ass  
> says,
> "Yeah that's close." He takes me by the arm and says.. "Best girls  
> in world
> here, drinks cheap!"
> And like a lamb to slaughter I walk in. He says something in  
> Japanese and I
> have 4 gorgeous women on my arms and breathing about my neck!  
> Smiling and
> giggling, damn if they were any closer I'd have "neck Hickies"  
> before I "sat
> down at the table!"  :-(
> NOTE:  How many rules have I broken at this point? :-)
> "You like drink?" as she sits down beside me at "my table?"  "Sure  
> I'll have
> (ready?) "A single malt scotch!" And she says, "and me?" I like a  
> kid right
> off the farm says, " Sure OK but only one!" She smiles and I kind  
> of wilt!
> Another wench sits down, the most gorgeous wench in the place and  
> smiles.
> Damn another drink! :-)
> Guy brings bowl of munchies with drinks and adds it to the tab now  
> written
> in Japanese! Now a girl on each side are so close I can hardly  
> drink let
> alone breath!
> Oh heck order another "scotch!"  Followed by, "And me too?" Big  
> smiles!
> "Oh well what the hell I've never been to Japan before why not? OK!"
> Fuzzillogic hits again!
> Finally I figure I better get out of here as time had slipped by  
> quicker
> than a witch in flight. So with a hundred yards to the front door  
> of the
> hotel and safety I order the bill!! Well OK eh? There goes my per  
> diem as I
> look forward to bread and water for the next five days! :-)
> So I tried to remember the rules about what not to do in Japan but
> Fuzzillogic intervened as I made my way to the hotel and figured;
>  "Oh well what the hell there's a first time for everything and  
> rules are
> made to be broken!" Fuzzillogic forever!!
> ted

I must say... very educational indeed!

Bob Palmieri