[Leica] World Cup

[jon.stanton at comcast.net (jon.stanton@comcast.net)]

Due to the World's obsession with the World Cup this story was not reported.

This story didn't make the news yet...




Chirac head-butts Clinton in World Cup finale 

By Andy Borowitz 


French president ejected from Olympic stadium 

 The finale of the 2006 FIFA World Cup was marred today when French 
President Jacques Chirac head-butted former U.S. President Bill Clinton 
while the two dignitaries watched the climactic game in Berlin's Olympic 
Stadium. 

As France and Italy faced off in a double-overtime nail-biter, the two world 
leaders were seen chatting amiably in the V.I.P. section of the stadium 
before, in the words of one spectator, "something went terribly wrong." 


While a global television audience of approximately 30 billion watched in 
horror, the French president head-butted Mr. Clinton in the chest, sending 
him reeling backwards over his chair and landing on U2 lead singer Bono, who 
was seated directly behind. 


Both Mr. Clinton and Bono sustained minor injuries in the incident, but the 
U2 front man's orange sunglasses were said to be damaged beyond repair. 


Moments after the violent confrontation, FIFA referee Horacio Elizondo 
penalized President Chirac for the head-butting infraction, ejecting him 
from the stadium for the remainder of the match. 


Speaking to reporters outside Olympic Stadium, President Chirac was 
unrepentant about the incident, calling it his finest moment as president of 
France. 


"That bastard [Clinton] was trying to get with my lady," Mr. Chirac said. 
"I'm only sorry I didn't get him in his nuts." 


The French president added that he was "relieved" that the World Cup was 
over, explaining, "Now I won't have to listen to U2 for another four years." 


Elsewhere, billions of World Cup viewers around the globe were reportedly 
seeking "new excuses" to start drinking first thing in the morning.