[Leica] Parody: "I Am a Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"

[henningw at archiphoto.com (Henning Wulff)]

:-)   :-)

>"I Am A Total Devotee of Leica M Photography"
>Copyright (c) 2004 Peter A. Klein
>Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"
>Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan
>
>- - - - -
>Scene:  A photographic gathering in a posh metropolitan hotel.  The
>Master Amateur is holding forth on the glories of Leica.  He is dressed
>in a battered old raincoat and a French beret. In his hand is a
>battered M3 covered with black tape.  He is surrounded by a chorus of
>paunchy middle-aged men, each wearing an enormous autofocus SLR with
>zoom lens.  The lenses bounce on their bellies when they sing.
>- - - - -
>
>(MASTER AMATEUR)
>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>I will not buy a digicam, I won't do videography.
>I read the work of Lager with his product list canonical.
>I'll never use a plastic lens with focus ultrasonical.
>
>I look at other cameras with an attitude that's whimsical.
>I do not want an SLR with viewing pentaprimsical.
>The look of glass from Asia makes me squint my eyes and squirm a knee.
>I'd rather get my lenses from a little town in Germany.
>
>(CHORUS)
>He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
>He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germany.
>He'd rather get his lenses from a little town in Germa-Germa-ny.
>
>(MASTER AMATEUR)
>I will never put my camera on a tripod that is teetering.
>I cannot understand the need for modern matrix metering.
>Look back upon my history, it's all in my biography:
>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>(CHORUS)
>Look back upon his history, it's all in his biography:
>He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>
>(MASTER AMATEUR)
>I love my Leica cameras with passion that's tyrannical
>A rangefinder, a floating frame, and everything mechanical.
>The shutter curtain's rubberized, and fashioned from the finest silk.
>The lenses have a bokeh that is smooth as summer buttermilk.
>
>My fifty f-two Summicron takes landscapes that are lyrical.
>I pierce the gloomy shadows with my Summilux aspherical.
>I must have Leica quality although it costs me lots o' bucks.
>I bought a ninety APO, I'm saving for a Noctilux.
>
>He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
>He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Noctilux.
>He bought a ninety APO, he's saving for a Nocti-Nocti-lux.
>
>I develop all my Tri-X film in acid that's ascorbical.
>I try to make my photos have a reference metaphorbical.
>And so throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>(CHORUS)
>And so throughout his history, we find in his biography:
>He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>
>(MASTER AMATEUR)
>I want to be like Eisenstadt and Smith and Frank and HCB.
>I take my Christmas photos in a style that's documentary.
>I never shoot at weathered rocks and twisted trees and gnats and logs.
>There's universal pathos in my pictures of my cats and dogs.
>
>I lurk in bars and coffeshops, and stalk the streets with Delphic glee.
>To shoot unwary passers-by with Leica mounted pelvically.
>But when I spy a plant that has a lovely flower's bloom upon.
>I take a dazzling close-up with my dual-ranging Summicron.
>
>(CHORUS)
>He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
>He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summicron.
>He takes a dazzling close-up with his dual-ranging Summi-Summi-cron.
>
>(MASTER AMATEUR)
>And although I've tried the other brands they always are inferior.
>They can't resolve the fuzz upon a baby's bare posterior.
>That's why throughout my history, you'll find in my biography:
>I am a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>(CHORUS)
>That's why throughout his history, you'll find in his biography:
>He is a total devotee of Leica M photography.
>
>------------
>--Peter Klein
>Seattle, WA
>
>_______________________________________________
>Leica Users Group.
>See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for more information


-- 
    *            Henning J. Wulff
   /|\      Wulff Photography & Design
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