Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2002/05/03

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Subject: [Leica] YOUR DAILY MOMENT OF ZEN
From: Photo Phreak <leicam4pro@yahoo.com>
Date: Fri, 3 May 2002 14:59:41 -0700 (PDT)

 Your Daily Moment of Zen
 (Modified to reflect contemporary wisdom):
 
 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk
> > ahead of me, for I
> > may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me
> > the hell alone.
> > 
> > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan
> > belt and a leaky
> > tire.
> > 
> > 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
> > steal your
> > neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> > 
> > 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't
> > getting any.
> > 
> > 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you
> can't
> > be promoted.
> > 
> > 6. No one is listening until you fart.
> > 
> > 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> > 
> > 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> > 
> > 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
> > couple of car
> > payments.
> > 
> > 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in
> > their shoes.
> > That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and
> you
> > have their
> > shoes.
> > 
> > 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> > 
> > 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him
> how
> > to fish, and
> > he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
> > 
> > 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
> > it was probably
> > worth it.
> > 
> > 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
> > anything.
> > 
> > 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
> > windshield.
> > 
> > 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
> > 
> > 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of
> that
> > comes from
> > bad judgment.
> > 
> > 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
> > half and put it
> > back in your pocket.
> > 
> > 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> > 
> > 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
> > dark side, and it
> > holds the universe together.
> > 
> > 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither
> one
> > works.
> > 
> > 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your
> > lips are moving.
> > 
> > 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after
> you
> > need it.
> > 
> > 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> > 
> > 25. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on
> our
> > ass ... then
> > things get worse.
> > 
> > 26.  The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not
> > laughed.
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> 
> 
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Health - your guide to health and wellness
> http://health.yahoo.com


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