Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2001/12/18
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]Dear LUG friends, Some of you are too new to the LUG to know that the majority of the expense of my new Noctilux (nearly 2/3, as it turns out) was provided by donations from LUG members, in an effort coordinated by Marc Small. This was done quite some time ago; it's taken me a while to raise the rest of the money. But today I did. I am more grateful than you ever know. Thank you, thank you! So I've owned a Noctilux 12 hours, and instead of using it, (well, I did shoot one roll) I've been trying to understand what it means. I've finally figured it out, and I have expressed the answer in the following somewhat-modified screenplay. SCARECROW You promised us real things -- a real... SCARECROW ...brain! TIN MAN o.s. A real heart! LION Real courage. That's what we want. WIZARD You do? boys, you're aiming low. You not only surprise, but you grieve me. Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the earth -- or slinks through slimy seas has a brain! From the rock-bound coast of Maine to the Sun.... oh - oh, no -- -- ah - Well, be that as it may. Back where I come from we have universities, seats of great learning -- where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts -- and with no more brains than you have.... But! They have one thing you haven't got! A diploma! The Wizard reaches back and obtains several diplomas -- selecting one and presents it to the Scarecrow WIZARD Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitatus Committeeatum e plurbis unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Th.D. SCARECROW Th.D.? WIZARD Yeah -- that...that's Dr. of Thinkology! SCARECROW The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh joy, rapture! I've got a brain! Wizard pauses on the throne steps -- opens a door and takes out a black bag -- takes a medal from the bag -- SCARECROW How can I ever thank you enough? WIZARD Well, you can't. As for you, my fine friend -- you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come from, we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have. But! They have one thing that you haven't got! A medal! Therefore -- for meritorious.... ...conduct, extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against wicked witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage! LION Oh -- Oh -- shucks, folks, I'm speechless! Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow watch the Lion as he beams with joy over his new medal -- the Wizard turns to the Tin Man -- speaks to him -- WIZARD As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart! You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. I could have been a world figure, a power among men, a - a successful wizard, had I not been obstructed by a heart. TIN MAN But I still want one. WIZARD Yes -- ...back where I come from there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phil...er -- er -- phil -- er, yes...good-deed-doers. And their hearts are no bigger than yours. But! They have one thing you haven't got! A testimonial! Wizard bends down and gets a heart-shaped watch from his black bag; he presents it to the Tin Man as Dorothy, Lion and Scarecrow look on WIZARD Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental friend.... ...that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others. Tin Man listens to his watch, then holds it up to Dorothy's ear -- TIN MAN Ahh --- Oh, it ticks! Listen! DOROTHY Yes...! Now, what about my friend Brian here? He wanted to be a photographer? WIZARD As for you, my overweight friend, you want to be a photographer. Back where I come from, there are people who do nothing all day but take great pictures that inspire awe in their colleagues. And their cameras are the same brand as yours, and they dilute their developer the same way that you do. But the reason that they take great pictures and you are a duffer is not that you have no skill. It's that they have one thing you don't have! A Noctilux! It's the most outrageous lens ever made, and by the same magic with which a diploma will give the scarecrow a brain and a ticking watch will give the tin woodman a heart, my friend, this Noctilux will make you a photographer. Wizard reaches into Brian's pocket, extracts his wallet, hands the contents to Jeff Alford, who returns shortly with a white box that has a piece of black tape covering some of the words. WIZARD Therefore, in consideration of the grand gift from your colleagues at the LUG, and the rest, I take pleasure at this time in filling out the Passport form for this Noctilux. And here are five rolls of Neopan 1600. My friend, take this outside, find someplace where there isn't a lot of light, and push that soft release a lot. Remember: you are judged not by how many cameras you own but by how many pictures you take with them. And do remember to follow the PLUG rules. (fade to OC safelight illumination of the set) - -- To unsubscribe, see http://mejac.palo-alto.ca.us/leica-users/unsub.html