Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2001/11/08

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Subject: Re: [Leica] Leica-philic Murphy's laws of photography...
From: lea <lea@whinydogpress.com>
Date: Thu, 08 Nov 2001 13:29:14 -0600
References: <4D2DC4211C50D311A64C0008C75D6BC507EDE716@m07.ibx.com>

Yeah, well....you ought to be happy all you have to put up with is Murphy's Laws
of Photography.

I have to put up with Murphy's Laws of LIFE.

Loving being Irish, but wishing sometimes that it was with a different last
name,
Lea (Murphy)

"Wang, Albert" wrote:

> Murphy's Laws of photography
>
> 1. You are not Ansel Adams or Henri Cartier-Bresson.
>
> 2. Neither are you Herb Ritz Camera Store.
>
> 3. Automatic Cameras---Aren't Worth "--it".
>
> 4. Auto Focus---won't (come correct)
>
> 5. If you can't remember, you left the film at home (or dropped the
> baseplate of your M6 on the snow while shooting blanks).
>
> 6. No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting
> (unless you're Selgado).
>
> 7. When in doubt, motor out (using the R4 Motorwinder).
>
> 8. If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the lab will lose the film.
>
> 9. If it's stupid (like the horrible R7 camera) but it works, it isn't
> stupid (like the kickbutt R8 camera).
>
> 10. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is
> watching (those collector make off with Leitz gold-plated titanium M cameras
> being ripped off to make stock equity go smoother).
>
> 11. The most critical roll of film is fogged (by Gerald Widen's genius).
>
> 12. If you forgot, then you did not rewind the film (or didn't damn sprocket
> correctly the bottom loading Leica IIIf with a bad roll of Tri-X).
>
> 13. Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell
> at (or to model in the nude in lieu of the significant other while having a
> love affair with a secretary from Leica USA in Northvale NJ).
>
> 14. The one item (batteries, film, and ect.) you need is always in short
> supply (except when you're fondling that R6.2 with a dead battery or my
> Leicaflex with a shot meter).
>
> 15. Interchangeable parts aren't (available at Tamarkin's when suckers are
> buying Canon Senenar lenses).
>
> 16. Long life batteries only last for a couple of rolls (applicable to
> Nikon/Canon users pffffffffff).
>
> 17. Weather never cooperates with Leica's competitor--Contax.
>
> 18. Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on
> location except that Leica 0-series camera you accidentally stuck in your
> Domke bag.
>
> 19. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (of your
> Nikon shots relative to that Leitz look-ons).
>
> 20. The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the
> Pulitizer (like Herbie Ritz).
>
> 21. Every instruction given to a lab, which can be misunderstood, will be
> (f-stopped/snafu-ed) cross-processed in E6 chemicals.
>
> 22. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work (except hyperfocal
> shooting with your M6).
>
> 23. Never tell the Photo Editor you have nothing to do (unless you want to
> get fired in today's lousy economy).
>
> 24. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't (covered by
> Passport Warranty--damn gray market stuff again).
>
> 25. No photojournalist is well dressed (except in a 1950's leather jacket
> from Banana Republic).
>
> 26. No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist (unless you're Sante
> D'Orazio).
>
> 27. Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of
> dangerous amateurs (like that Shutterbabe named Deborah Kogan).
>
> 28. The nature shots invariably happen on two occasions: - -when anmals are
> ready. - -when you're not (fiddling with your MOOLY while singing the MOOLY
> BLUES).
>
> 29. Same rule just substitute (naked) children (just like Jock-Strapped
> Sturges).
>
> 30. Client Intelligence is a contradiction (after John Ashcroft is fourth
> encounters/encounters-intelligence of the wrong kind).
>
> 31. There is no such thing as a perfect shoot (after saying "shoot" when
> messing up your loading schtick on the M6 again).
>
> 32. The important things are always simple (damn didn't Leica use this
> phrase over and over in that Leica Photographie advertisement I need to be
> reminded of???).
>
> 33. The simple things are always hard (because M6 film loading takes you 20
> minutes while the model runs away into the distance like Bridget Jones).
>
> 34. Flashes will fail as soon as you need them (and that's good because the
> M6 flash-sync at very slow speeds as to be worthless).
>
> 35. A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moister (but it's
> good proof that your Leica can out-last the lousy Canon EOS crap).
>
> 36. Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it
> (unless you're Shutterbabe wanting to chase guys while dangling Leicas like
> a pearl necklace).
>
> 37. The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his
> position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).
>
> 38. All or any of the above combined (as appliable to Leica photographers).
>
> All information contained within this particular post does not necessarily
> reflect the views of the idiot whoever had the time to post this Leica-ized
> version of Murphy's laws of photography.
>
> Leica-fully yours, Alfie Leica Camera AG Marketing Rep.... psych... hehehehe
>
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- --
Lea Murphy
Whiny Dog Press
816-333-9111
Home: http://www.whinydogpress.com
Newest: http://www.whinydogpress.com/new.html


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Replies: Reply from Mark Rabiner <mark@rabiner.cncoffice.com> (Re: [Leica] Leica-philic Murphy's laws of photography...)
In reply to: Message from "Wang, Albert" <Albert.Wang@ibx.com> ([Leica] Leica-philic Murphy's laws of photography...)