Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2001/11/08
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]Yeah, well....you ought to be happy all you have to put up with is Murphy's Laws of Photography. I have to put up with Murphy's Laws of LIFE. Loving being Irish, but wishing sometimes that it was with a different last name, Lea (Murphy) "Wang, Albert" wrote: > Murphy's Laws of photography > > 1. You are not Ansel Adams or Henri Cartier-Bresson. > > 2. Neither are you Herb Ritz Camera Store. > > 3. Automatic Cameras---Aren't Worth "--it". > > 4. Auto Focus---won't (come correct) > > 5. If you can't remember, you left the film at home (or dropped the > baseplate of your M6 on the snow while shooting blanks). > > 6. No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting > (unless you're Selgado). > > 7. When in doubt, motor out (using the R4 Motorwinder). > > 8. If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the lab will lose the film. > > 9. If it's stupid (like the horrible R7 camera) but it works, it isn't > stupid (like the kickbutt R8 camera). > > 10. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is > watching (those collector make off with Leitz gold-plated titanium M cameras > being ripped off to make stock equity go smoother). > > 11. The most critical roll of film is fogged (by Gerald Widen's genius). > > 12. If you forgot, then you did not rewind the film (or didn't damn sprocket > correctly the bottom loading Leica IIIf with a bad roll of Tri-X). > > 13. Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell > at (or to model in the nude in lieu of the significant other while having a > love affair with a secretary from Leica USA in Northvale NJ). > > 14. The one item (batteries, film, and ect.) you need is always in short > supply (except when you're fondling that R6.2 with a dead battery or my > Leicaflex with a shot meter). > > 15. Interchangeable parts aren't (available at Tamarkin's when suckers are > buying Canon Senenar lenses). > > 16. Long life batteries only last for a couple of rolls (applicable to > Nikon/Canon users pffffffffff). > > 17. Weather never cooperates with Leica's competitor--Contax. > > 18. Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on > location except that Leica 0-series camera you accidentally stuck in your > Domke bag. > > 19. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (of your > Nikon shots relative to that Leitz look-ons). > > 20. The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the > Pulitizer (like Herbie Ritz). > > 21. Every instruction given to a lab, which can be misunderstood, will be > (f-stopped/snafu-ed) cross-processed in E6 chemicals. > > 22. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work (except hyperfocal > shooting with your M6). > > 23. Never tell the Photo Editor you have nothing to do (unless you want to > get fired in today's lousy economy). > > 24. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't (covered by > Passport Warranty--damn gray market stuff again). > > 25. No photojournalist is well dressed (except in a 1950's leather jacket > from Banana Republic). > > 26. No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist (unless you're Sante > D'Orazio). > > 27. Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of > dangerous amateurs (like that Shutterbabe named Deborah Kogan). > > 28. The nature shots invariably happen on two occasions: - -when anmals are > ready. - -when you're not (fiddling with your MOOLY while singing the MOOLY > BLUES). > > 29. Same rule just substitute (naked) children (just like Jock-Strapped > Sturges). > > 30. Client Intelligence is a contradiction (after John Ashcroft is fourth > encounters/encounters-intelligence of the wrong kind). > > 31. There is no such thing as a perfect shoot (after saying "shoot" when > messing up your loading schtick on the M6 again). > > 32. The important things are always simple (damn didn't Leica use this > phrase over and over in that Leica Photographie advertisement I need to be > reminded of???). > > 33. The simple things are always hard (because M6 film loading takes you 20 > minutes while the model runs away into the distance like Bridget Jones). > > 34. Flashes will fail as soon as you need them (and that's good because the > M6 flash-sync at very slow speeds as to be worthless). > > 35. A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moister (but it's > good proof that your Leica can out-last the lousy Canon EOS crap). > > 36. Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it > (unless you're Shutterbabe wanting to chase guys while dangling Leicas like > a pearl necklace). > > 37. The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his > position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness). > > 38. All or any of the above combined (as appliable to Leica photographers). > > All information contained within this particular post does not necessarily > reflect the views of the idiot whoever had the time to post this Leica-ized > version of Murphy's laws of photography. > > Leica-fully yours, Alfie Leica Camera AG Marketing Rep.... psych... hehehehe > > CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This E-Mail is intended only for the use of the > individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain information > that is privileged, confidential and exempt from disclosure under applicable > law. > > If you have received this communication in error, please do not distribute > it. Please notify the sender by E-Mail at the address shown and delete the > original message. Thank you for your compliance. > -- > To unsubscribe, see http://mejac.palo-alto.ca.us/leica-users/unsub.html - -- Lea Murphy Whiny Dog Press 816-333-9111 Home: http://www.whinydogpress.com Newest: http://www.whinydogpress.com/new.html - -- To unsubscribe, see http://mejac.palo-alto.ca.us/leica-users/unsub.html