Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2000/03/08

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Subject: Re: [Leica] Bitter pill
From: "Roland Smith" <roland@dnai.com>
Date: Wed, 8 Mar 2000 21:46:23 -0800

Mike:

You are a wealthy man because you have a son and the opportunity to have a
friend who most likely be your best friend for the rest of your life.

My daughter is my best friend and the best thing that happened to me in my
life even after counting so many other blessings I have had.  We spent a lot
of time just the two of us during the time she was growing up in my first
marriage.

When I seperated from and divorced my first wife, she chose to live with me
at age 15.   I raised her through high school as a single parent and feel
blessed that I had that fiduciary responsibility of parenting.  Money was
short at that time but, probably not as short as it would have been for
many.   I wouldn't trade those years for anything.

Hopefully, you will find your economics easier in the future.

Best regards,

Roland Smith

roland@dnai.com
- ----- Original Message -----
From: Mike Johnston <michaeljohnston@ameritech.net>
To: <leica-users@mejac.palo-alto.ca.us>
Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2000 2:26 AM
Subject: [Leica] Bitter pill


> Having cooled off, I have a few more things to say.
>
> First of all, some evil jerk has been sending private messages through a
> "filtered" server posing as Mark Rabiner--for example, I received the
> following message yesterday:
>
> >>>>>
> Subject: you
>
> Mike, you are such an asshole.  How you got to be an editor of anything
> is beyond me. Why don't you just crawl back into your cave and let the
> rest of Luggers enjoy life.
> Fuck you
> Mark R.
> <<<<<
>
> Mark Rabiner did not write this. There have been other such messages
> sent over Mark's signature to other people.
>
> Whoever is doing THAT, be ashamed of yourself--although there is
> probably little hope for you, since you lack basic decency and have no
> courage at all.
>
> Second, I have a lot of faults, but a failure to come clean is not one
> of them. Fact is, Mark's sarcastic, taunting message to me of a few days
> ago did indeed hit home. It hurt. A lot. Why? It's true.
>
> Seven years ago now, I was presented, abruptly and without warning, with
> an infant. I hadn't seen his mother in months. She was trying to give
> him up for adoption. I figured if she had the guts not to abort him, I
> should have the guts to be a man and accept my, er, implication in the
> matter. I basically decided that if he was my son, then I would do my
> best by him, whatever that turned out to entail.
>
> That decision completely tore up my life. I quit my job, moved away from
> the city where I had lived (and where I had all my professional
> contacts), and left most of my friends behind. I knew zero about raising
> babies--I had never once in my life changed a diaper. Scrambling, I
> managed to relocate and find a new job (at about half my former pay).
> What followed were by far the most difficult two years of my life. I
> learned how to care for a baby full-time while doing everything else
> that needed doing, despite sleep deprivation, ineptitude, and limited
> resources. To paraphrase something Mark Twain said of old age, single
> parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Emphasis on NOT.
>
> We've survived. My son just turned seven. Pretty much everything I've
> done in the last seven years, pretty much every decision I've made, from
> what I do to where we live, has been for his good. It's a long story,
> and I'm sure you don't want to hear the whole thing. (Talk about OT.)
>
> Point is, prior to seven years ago, I was shooting with Leicas. My main
> axe was an M6 with a pre-ASPH 35/2. I had a couple of other lenses and
> was about to get a second body. TX in D-76, Leica with a Summicron. Pure
> and simple.
>
> No, it isn't the perfect camera and no, Leica lenses aren't perfect.
> But...I loved it. I shot with it all the time. I practiced with it
> nightly, and my Leica-handling skills were VERY good. I carried it with
> me all the time, from sunup to sundown. I believe I could still work
> that camera blindfolded.
>
> It was my axe.
>
> But when my son got dropped into my life, I got caught short of cash in
> the very early days while everything was getting sorted out. I knew I
> was in for some very rough sailing in the months and years ahead, so I
> liquefied all my assets. Everything I could. Including my Leicas, most
> of the rest of my photo gear, and most of my darkroom equipment. I just
> didn't know whether, or when, I'd need the cash.
>
> Since then, I have just not been in a position to spend three grand on a
> camera. Any camera. It would be irresponsible. It's that simple.
>
> It's been surprisingly painful. It's not a complex issue--it's just that
> photography has always been my thing, and it's become (irony of ironies)
> a luxury a bit beyond my means. I've tried to replace my Leica many
> times with something cheaper. Haven't found anything. I go from one
> thing to another. I borrow a friend's Leicas from time to time. I do get
> cameras to test, but despite my assertions a few days ago, that's no
> substitute. I even tried to sell my prints in the magazine, hoping I'd
> make enough to buy another Leica. I didn't. Tough petunias, eh? I'll
> live.
>
> Difficult though it is for me to admit it, Rabiner's right. I don't own
> a Leica. Can't afford to. A bitter pill to swallow. A lot of you guys
> are rich. Power to you. I'm not.
>
> Pathetic? Maybe. But I've made my choices, and I'll live with them.
>
> But I guess it means I'm not a member of this club, just as Mark Rabiner
> implied. You win, Rabiner, if you want to be that way about it.
>
> --Mike
>
>