Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 1998/02/05

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Subject: [Leica] OFF TOPIC (Fwd) FW: Very true
From: "Roy Zartarian" <royzart@connix.com>
Date: Thu, 5 Feb 1998 18:52:41 +0000

Sorry for going way off topic, folks, but this had me ROFL.  Let me 
hasten to add that when I photograph my 4 year old "puppy" I do use 
Leicas

Roy

How to Photograph a Puppy
 1.	Remove film from box and load camera

 2.	Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
 3.	Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from
        muzzle
 4.	Choose a suitable back for photo
 5.	Mount camera on tripod and focus
 6.	Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
 7.	Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
 8.	Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees
 9.	Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand
 10.	Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
 11.	Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
 12.	Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on
        puppy's nose
 13.	Put magazines back on coffee table
 14.	Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your
        head
 15.	Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
 16.	Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say
       "No! outside! No! Outside!"
 17.	Call someone to help clean up mess
 18.	Fix a drink
 19.	Sit back in Lazy Boy with large, strong drink and
        resolve to teach puppy "sit"and "stay" the first thing in the morning
 
   Roy C. Zartarian
   http://www.connix.com/~royzart
   "A prophet is not without honor except in his
    own land and among his own people"

Written with the assistance of a labrador retriever whose chin is on the key board. All typos are his fault.