[Leica] MARRIAGE / Reorganizing my equipment collection

[Frank.Dernie at btinternet.com (Frank Dernie)]

Spot on Ted.
I have been married to my best friend for 38 years. We have 4 children who 
have all been a joy since they were born, and we are anticipating the birth 
of our sixth grandchild at the moment. The five we already have being the 
lights of our lives now our children are grown up!
We have our differences, and "robust" discussions from time to time, but 
that is to deal with.
I suspect people have a somewhat inflexible view of how their mate should be 
and/or think they can change them. If I have learned one thing it is to 
accept that you can't change them, and its an arrogance to believe you 
could/should.

I feel for your loss, Ted, goodness knows how I will deal with it when our 
time comes.

Frank

On 31 May, 2012, at 20:34, <tedgrant at shaw.ca> <tedgrant at shaw.ca> wrote:

> As much as this hurts I have to put my 2 pennies worth of opinion on 
> long-time marriage! Given I just experienced 63 years of a very lovingly 
> interesting and satisfying married life before my dear Irene passed on. :-(
> 
> If in the beginning you marry a good woman or good man understanding it's 
> not going to be a bed of roses and there maybe in that bed of roses a few 
> "pricks" along the way. That you are prepared to have the odd straining 
> moments of communication, both heated and as lovingly as it can possibly 
> be. To admit, you as the male are prepared to accept you "ARE WRONG AND 
> SHE IS RIGHT!" And vise versa! It's a two way street always! Give and 
> take, get over it and move on together still enjoying the wonderful 
> feeling of her or he cuddled by your side anytime .
> 
> If you are properly matched? Obviously understood right from the first 
> time you find her cuddled by your side in the warmth of the night. There 
> isn't any reason for a pennies worth of thought about divorce. I see 
> divorcing when children have been conceived as one of the most cruel 
> things parents can bestowe on their off spring. Having not done that, I'm 
> sure there are other opinions.
> 
> By the same token today's society is a wrangle of perceived "entitlement 
> beyond common sense" where "NO" is the only so called correcting answer to 
> everything. "No you can't do that, this and every stupid asinine reason to 
> turn the society into some quagmire of stupid ill-conceived rules, laws 
> and regulations."
> 
> But if you have the right woman or male by your side in the beginning, 
> none of the garbage-pit regulations conceived by moronic politicians and 
> government bureaucrats will deter you one iota from a beautiful long and 
> enjoyable life with the mate you've loved beyond your wildest dreams and 
> thoughts when you first said "I Do!"
> 
> I find the "bitterness shown here" by some extremely unfortunate for the 
> so called "Victim!" But one must ask ..... "What happened to the "two way 
> street of give and take?" Stubbornness of stupidity by both doesn't solve 
> anything.
> 
> The "Whores of Hollywood" and societies of today's lust for all the crap 
> stuff promoted in crappy celebrity magazines that cater to the witless 
> fools who see the events of Hollywood as... "They do, so I do!"  It is 
> this kind of crap the completely innocent women and men in the first 
> place, see divorce is the only answer. Then do it and the next thing you 
> know they've grab another foolish male or female ready to wed. They do it 
> as quickly and as fast "as a Saturday night whore changing her undies!" 
> And all they've done is move them selves into another quagmire that ends 
> again in divorce.
> 
> I'm sorry but I don't by all this bull-shit about divorce being the be-all 
> answer to solving marital problems. Sure there are going to be the 
> exception simply because if the wrong mate was picked because she or he 
> was a "WOW FACTOR IN THE SACK!" That only helps on cold winter nights, but 
> that's only a part of a successful marriage.
> 
> I need not go on any longer as I know my married life was great, sure we 
> had some wild old verbal battles. Everybody does at sometime or other and 
> anyone saying they never had a squabble is probably lying. That's all part 
> of Mother Natures Communications in working things out. After all it is a 
> two way street of give and take.
> 
> Unfortunately nobody was around with a Leica to photograph some of our 
> "discussions?" ;-) Oscar martial for the cover of LIFE magazine! ;-)
> 
> Bottom-line? We loved each other, enjoyed our great times together, had 4 
> great and wonderful successful children. And now 10 Grand children who are 
> also cracker jack kids and the oldest two will own their own business 
> operations one of these days as they're already laying out plans and how. 
> 20 & 21!
> 
> All a hell of a lot brighter than their grandfather when it comes to the 
> "Art of running a business." OH yeah and both have wonderful sharp ladies 
> by their sides.
> 
> So there you go eh! I just wish it were 63 years and counting! :-( I miss 
> her dearly. :-(
> 
> cheers,
> ted
> 
> 
> 
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