Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2007/01/24
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]Which of them is the priest, the rabbi, and the talking dog? Peter. PLUG in SF, CA --- Christopher Williams <leicachris@worldnet.att.net> wrote: > This is a trick question. Jill Greenberg and Kyle > Cassidy would never walk into a bar together. > > Chris > > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Kyle Cassidy" <kcassidy@asc.upenn.edu> > To: <lug@leica-users.org> > Sent: Wednesday, January 24, 2007 6:19 PM > Subject: [Leica] leni riefenstahl, jill > greenberg,sally mann and kyle cassidy walk into a > bar .... > > > Leni wants something, but she'll only speak german, > so the bartender keeps ignoring her, but she's > getting beligerant. > > "A round of Loud Mouth Soup!" I bellow over the > excessive music, which I suddenly notice is "ABBA", > at volumes not recommended by > the makers of the sound system, I'm sure. On top of > the disco syncopations is a rythmic flatulance of an > over driven speaker, > possibly with a hole in it. > > "Do something about this goddamn music!" I shout to > Sally, she starts fishing around in her gigantic > purse and heads over to the > jukebox. Meanwhile, the bartender produces four > frosted glasses and pours gin in them indescrimantly > from a bucket. A lot of it > splashes on the bar. > > "I'm all out of olives," he yells, throwing a shiny > penny in each of the drinks before pushing them > towards us, "and vermouth. > That'll be --" he thinks a minute, his eyes rolling > back in his head before popping back like cherrys on > a slot machine, "eighty > dollars." > > "Eighty what?!" I exclaim, "that better be > Canadian." > > "You want to hang with the poneys, you gotta live > with the horses," he says, staring into my eyes. > > The music suddenly stops and the bar is dead silent > in the split second that I yell > > "What the hell does that mean?" at the top of my > voice. All heads turn towards me. I look around > embarrassed. The other patrons eye > me like I've shown up at a funeral in a clown suit. > Sally looks over from the juke box and presses a > button. Some hideous country > and western song begins yodling through the sound > system and everybody turns back to their drinks. > > "Eighty dollars," says the bartender again. > > Suddenly, completely without warning Jill reaches > across the bar and slaps him hard in the side of the > head, the bartender reels > back with a look of complete astonishment on his > face as Jill snaps his photo with an old Crown > Graphic she was hiding behind her > back. The bulb makes a POP! noise audible over the > music and we're all momentarily blinded. The > bartender shakes his head and Jill > ejects the bulb onto the floor and loads another > one. > > "Thanks gramps," she says. > > "To hell with this dump," Leni says, twirling around > on the bar stool and tossing an empty martini glass > over her shoulder, "Let's > go to Courtney Love's party, there's bound to be > more action there." > > > > How should I react? > > a) Say, "No, let's sit around here and photograph > one another, I have a noctilux!" > b) Say, "Yeah, that sounds good. I already blew all > my cash on four drinks." > c) Slap Jill Greenberg > d) Ask Sally what she wants to do > e) Answer in fake German, to see if I can make Leni > go mad thinking she's forgotten how to speak her > native language > > > > > _______________________________________________ > Leica Users Group. > See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for > more information > > > _______________________________________________ > Leica Users Group. > See http://leica-users.org/mailman/listinfo/lug for > more information > ____________________________________________________________________________________ We won't tell. Get more on shows you hate to love (and love to hate): Yahoo! TV's Guilty Pleasures list. http://tv.yahoo.com/collections/265