Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 1998/12/02

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Subject: [Leica] LONG message to show how we should care about others
From: Bill Grimwood <bgrim@garply.com>
Date: Wed, 02 Dec 1998 10:06:01 -0600

>
>>He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in
>Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was
>one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive
>attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful. Mark
>talked incssantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without
>permission was not acceptable.
>>  
>>What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I
>had to correct him for misbehaving - "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!"
> I  didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became
>accustomed  to hearing it many times a day.
>>  
>>One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often,
>and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at Mark and said, "If
>you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!"
>>  
>>It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking
>again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since
>I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it. I
>remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk,
>very deliberately opened by drawer and took out a roll of masking tape.
>>  
>>Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of
>tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the
>front of the  room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked
>at me. That did it!! I started laughing.The class cheered as I walked back
>to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders. His first
>words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister." At the end of the year,
>I was asked to teach junior-high math.
>>  
>>The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again.
>>  
>>He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen
>carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in
>ninth grade as he had in third.
>>  
>>One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new
>concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, fustrated
>with themselves, and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness
>before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other
>students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each
>name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about
>each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the
>class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room,
>each one handed me the papers.
>>  
>>Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good
> weekend." That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a
>separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about
>that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list.
>>  
>>Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered.
>>  
>>"I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked
>me so much."
>>  
>>No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they
>discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter.
>>  
>>The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with
>themselves and one another again.  That group of students moved on.
>>  
>>Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at
>the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions
>about the trip- the weather, my experiences in general.
>>  
>>There was a lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a side-ways glance
>and simply said, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did
>before  something important. "The Eklunds called last night," he began.
>>  
>>"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark
>is." Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said.
>>  
>>"The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could
attend."
>>  
>>To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me
> about Mark.
>>  
>>I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so
>handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark I would
>give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me.
>>  
>>The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle
>Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral?
>It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual
>prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a
>last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last
>one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as
>pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked.
>>  
>>I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a
>lot," he said.
>>  
>>After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's
>farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting
> for me.
>>  
>>"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of
>his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you
>might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn
>pieces of  notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and
>refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones
>on which I had listed  all the good things each of Mark's classmates had
>said about him.  
>>
>>"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see,
>Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather around us.
>>  
>>Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in
>the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to
>put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said.
>>  
>>"It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her
>pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to
>the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting
>an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists." That's when I finally sat
>down and ried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see
>him again.
>>  
>>  
>>Written by: Sister Helen P. Mrosla
>>  
>>  
>>
>>  The purpose of this letter is to encourage everyone to compliment the
>>  
>>  people you love and care about. We often tend to forget the importance
>>  
>>  of showing our affections and love. Sometimes the smallest of things,
>>  
>>  could mean the most to another. Tell them, before it is too late.
>>  
>>  
>>
>
>