[Leica] O.T. baby photographer joke

["Paul Winkfield" <pwink@bellatlantic.net>]

Hi All,

I figure it's time for a joke...If you read it before, have another laugh!
Remember, do not take life too seriously, cuz no body gets out alive!
(credit: Buggs Bunny)

Subject: Baby photographer
>
>The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and
>elected to use a surrogate father to start their family.
>
>On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith
>kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
>here soon."
>
>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
>baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a
>sale.
>
>"Good morning madam. I've come to..."
>
>"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,"
>Mrs. Smith cut in.
>
>"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've
>made a specialty of babies."
>
>"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come
>in and have a seat."
>
>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
>start?"
>
>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
>bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple
>on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun
>too; you can really spread out!"
>
>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
>for Harry and me."
>
>"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
>every time. But if we try several different positions
>and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll
>be pleased with the results."
>
>"My, that's a lot of. . . " gasped Mrs. Smith.
>
>"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
>I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd
>be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
>
>"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
>
>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
>portfolio of his baby pictures.
>"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown
>London."
>
>"Oh my God!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her
>handkerchief.
>
>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when
>you consider their mother was so difficult to work
>with."
>
>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>
>"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde
>Park to get the job done right. People were crowding
>around four and five deep, pushing to get a good
>look."
>
>"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened
>in amazement.
>
>"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three
>hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and
>yelling - I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness
>approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when
>the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
>packed it all in."
>
>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually
>chewed on your, um...equipment?"
>
>"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set
>up my tripod so that we can get to work."
>
>"Tripod?"
>
>"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
>It's much too big for me to hold very long.
>Madam? Madam?...Good Lord, she's fainted
>
>




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