Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2003/02/13

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Subject: [Leica] OT: For Those With A Warranty Fetish
From: "Greg J. Lorenzo" <gregj.lorenzo@shaw.ca>
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 21:40:12 -0700

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Info
>
> This was  allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website 
> by an employee  there who obviously has a sense of humor.
>
> The company, of course, does  not have a sense of humor, and made the web
>
>
> department take it down  immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at 
> the end is worth a read  too....)
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
> --
>
> Thank  you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order 
> to protect  your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out 
> the warranty  registration card below. Answering the survey questions is 
> not required, but  the information will help us to develop new products 
> that best meet your  needs and desires.
>
> 1. Title
>
> [_] Mr.
> [_] Mrs.
> [_] Ms.
> [_] Miss
> [_] Lt.
> [_] Gen.
> [_] Comrade
> [_] Classified
> [_]  Other
>
> First Name:  .............................................
> Initial: ........
> Last  Name:..............................................
> Password:  ............................... (max. 8 char)
> Code  Name:..............................................
> Latitude-Longitude-Altitude:  ......................
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you  purchase?
>
> [_] F-14 Tomcat
> [_] F-15 Eagle
> [_] F-16 Falcon
> [_]  F-117A Stealth
>
> [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase  (Year/Month/Day):
> ......../......./......
>
> 4. Serial Number:  .........................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this  product was purchased:
> [_] Received as gift / aid package
> [_] Catalogue /  showroom
> [_] Independent arms broker
> [_] Mail order
> [_] Discount  store
> [_] Government surplus
> [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how  you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
> product you have just  purchased:
>
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> [_] Store display
> [_]  Espionage
> [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> [_] Political  lobbying by manufacturer
> [_] Was attacked by one
>
>
> 7. Please  indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
> decision to purchase  this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> [_] Style / appearance
> [_] Speed /  maneuverability
> [_] Price / value
> [_] Comfort / convenience
> [_] Kickback / bribe
> [_] Recommended by salesperson
> [_] McDonnell Douglas  reputation
> [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> [_] Backroom politics
> [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the  location(s) where this product will be used:
>
> [_] North America
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Aircraft carrier
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Europe
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Africa
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Asia / Far East
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Misc. Third World countries
> [_] Iraq
> [_] Classified
> [_] Iraq
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that  you currently own or intend to
> purchase in the near future:
>
> [_] Color TV
> [_] VCR
> [_] ICBM
> [_] Killer Satellite
> [_] CD Player
> [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> [_] Space Shuttle
> [_] Home Computer
> [_] Nuclear  Weapon
>
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?  (Indicate
> all that apply:)
>
> [_] Communist / Socialist
> [_]  Terrorist
> [_] Crazed
> [_] Neutral
> [_] Democratic
> [_]  Dictatorship
> [_] Corrupt
> [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay  for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> [_] Deficit spending
> [_]  Cash
> [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> [_] Oil revenues
> [_] Personal  check
> [_] Credit card
> [_] Ransom money
> [_] Traveler's check
>
> 12.  Your occupation:
>
> [_] Homemaker
> [_] Sales / marketing
> [_]  Revolutionary
> [_] Clerical
> [_] Mercenary
> [_] Tyrant
> [_] Middle  management
> [_] Eccentric billionaire
> [_] Defense Minister / General
> [_]  Retired
> [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers,  please indicate the
> interests and activities in which you and your spouse  enjoy
> participating on a regular basis:
>
> [_] Golf
> [_] Boating /  sailing
> [_] Sabotage
> [_] Running / jogging
> [_] Propaganda /  misinformation
> [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> [_] Default on loans
> [_]  Gardening
> [_] Crafts
> [_] Black market / smuggling
> [_] Collectibles /  collections
> [_] Watching sports on TV
> [_] Wines
> [_] Interrogation /  torture
> [_] Household pets
> [_] Crushing rebellions
> [_] Espionage /  reconnaissance
> [_] Fashion clothing
> [_] Border disputes
> [_] Mutually  Assured Destruction
>
>
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out  this questionnaire. Your
> answers will be used in market studies that will  help McDonnell
> Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as  allowing you to
> receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, 
> extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus
> for  responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
> new F-117A  in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our  fighter planes? Please write to:
> McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing  Department, Military
> Aerospace Division
>
> IMPORTANT:
>
> This email  is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s)
> named above and may  contain information that is confidential
> privileged or unsuitable for overly  sensitive persons with low
> self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational  religious beliefs. If
> you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,  distribution
> or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or 
> implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
>
> Unless the  word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
> somewhere other than  in this warning, it does not have any legal or
> grammatical use and may be  ignored. No animals were harmed in the
> transmission of this email, although  the pit bull next door is living
> on borrowed time, let me tell  you.
>
> Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified 
> to
> learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading  this
> warning
> backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.  However,
> by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer 
> you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
>
> If you  have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and
> egg whites,  whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Sure, you
> can TRUST the Gov't.  Ask any Indian.



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