Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2002/08/15

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Subject: Re: [Leica] Postage Assistance.
From: D Khong <>
Date: Thu, 15 Aug 2002 18:43:29 +0800
References: <> <>


My dear Alastair

Your letter of distress came at a rather bad time. The world economy is 
tottering and this has affected trade, communication, politics, purchasing 
power, marital bliss and leica acquisition especially by this nefarious LUG 
bunch on the Internet who are bent on sarcasm, criticism, flaming, and 
bellyaching. With so many major problems at hand, it will take a while for 
recovery to take place and we will see what we can do to supply you with 
the necessary solution to rectify your most pressing problem.

For the time being, I am told that a nightly administration of 
preparation-H can alleviate the angst, the frustration, the agony, the 
pressure, and even the most unbelievable of all human torment that this 
matter has caused you. I would say that sitting on the matter for so long 
is not the best of all solutions. But what alternatives do we have?

In the background of the seriousness of this matter, I am able to offer you 
a solution that will result in instant reflief. Now are you listening?? The 
postal commissar who is a personal friend of mine, no doubt well placed, 
highly respected and well endowed, is able to offer his help to alleviate 
your problem. His advise is to recruit a number of letter writers who are 
well versed in the art of written communication. They are a dying breed in 
this world of Eeeee(k)-mail (dammit!!). Hidden in the secret wardrobes of 
these letter writers are letter pads, ink pads, Mont Blanc fountain pens 
(now outlawed and possession is definitely punishable by at least 90 years 
of hard labour in theAntarctica or frozen to death whatever is quicker), 
and (bless them!!) envelopes as well. Envelopes galore. These letter 
writers are bound by a secret code which only a sizeable bribe can penetrate.

If you think that it is well worth it, we will require that you remit an 
advance payment of US$7.79 plus 10% GST through Money-Pal. Upon receipt of 
this amount of money, my commissar friend will then activate the relief 
that you have been craving for for so long. I must stress that only prompt 
payment in the green back currency is acceptable.

I must stress that this arrangement is to be kept in utmost secrecy. You 
are not to tell your wife, your children, your boss, your lawyer, your 
banker, your parents and your mother in law about what you are about to do. 
As a precaution, this message vill self-destruct in exactly 30 seconds.


^&^%@((*&*())_)@ (translated into English means "Help is at hand")
Republic of Stampoanga

pssssssssssss.whoooooosh (= goner in 30 seconds), cough, cough!

At 05:00 PM 8/15/02 +1000, you wrote:
>>Alastair Firkin,
>>Ballarat Victoria
>>                 CONFIDENTIAL
>>  You may be surprised to receive this letter from me
>>since some of you do not know me personally. The purpose of
>>my introduction is that I am Alastair Firkin, the
>>first son of Barry Firkin ,the most popular medical professor at Monash 
>>university and a Jedi knight. I got your contact through a bizarre 
>>network online hence decided to write you.
>>Before the death of my father, he had taken me to
>>Sydney to deposit the sum of USD 5 (yes, $5!!!) This amount was
>>meant for the purchase of stamps.
>>This stamp problem came when e_Mail became dominant.
>>Brain Reid introduced a new stamp Act Reform
>>wholly affecting the rich stamp horders and some few
>>coin collectors, and this resulted in the killing and mob
>>action by e_Mail war veterans and some lunatics in
>>the microsoft society. In fact a lot of people were stuck
>>because of this stamp reform Act.
>>It is against this background that, I and my family
>>fled the post office for fear of our lives and are
>>currently staying in Ballarat where noone has ever written a letter. We are
>>seeking literary asylum and moreso have decided  to
>>transfer my father's stamps to a more reliable
>>foreign envelope. Since Ballarat
>>prohibits a refugee (asylum seeker) to lick any stamp or to be involved 
>>in any enveloping transaction throughout
>>the territorial zone of Victoria and as the
>>eldest son of my father, I am saddled with the
>>responsibility of seeking an envelope
>>where these stamps could be applied without the knowledge
>>of my mother who is bent on wiping out inky communication.
>>The Local government
>>seems to be playing along with her.
>>Help me please
>Yours Faithfully,
>Alastair Firkin
>  ()" "'()
>  (   '0',)
>To unsubscribe, see


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In reply to: Message from "emmanuel mamuseita" <> ([Leica] Assistance.)
Message from "emmanuel mamuseita" <> ([Leica] Assistance.)