Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2002/01/28
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]While were on the starbucks thread, thought I might share this: (A bit long, but if you add the Jackie Mason voice to it, it gets better!) >JACKIE MASON says: > > > >Starbucks is the best example of a phony status symbol that means > >nothing, but people will still pay 10x as much for because there are > >French words all over the place. You want coffee in a coffee shop, > >that's 60 cents. > >But at Starbucks, Cafe Latte: $3.50. Cafe Cremier: $4.50. Cafe Suisse: > >$9.50. For each French word, another four dollars. > > > >Why does a little cream in coffee make it worth $3.50? Go into any > >coffee shop; they'll give you all the cream you want until you're blue > >in the face. Forty million people are walking around in coffee shops > >with jars of cream: "Here's all the cream you want!" And it's still 60 > >cents. > > > >You know why? > > > >Because it's called "coffee." If it's Cafe Latte - $4.50. You want > >cinnamon in your coffee? Ask for cinnamon in a coffee shop; they'll > >give you all the cinnamon you want. > > > >Do they ask you for more money because it's cinnamon? It's the same > >price for cinnamon in your coffee as for coffee without cinnamon - 60 > >cents, that's it. > >But not in Starbucks. Over there, it's Cinnamonnier - $9.50. > > > >You want a refill in a regular coffee shop, they'll give you all the > >refills you want until you drop dead. You can come in when you're 27 > >and keep drinking coffee until you're 98. > >And they'll start begging you: "Here, you want more coffee, you want > >more, you want more?" > >Do you know that you can't get a refill at Starbucks? A refill is a > >dollar fifty. Two refills, $4.50. Three refills, $19.50. So, for four > >cups of coffee - $350. > > > >And it's burnt coffee. It's burnt coffee at Starbucks, let's be honest > >about it. If you get burnt coffee in a coffee shop, you call a > >cop. You say, "It's the bottom of the pot. I don't drink from the > >bottom of the pot. But when it's burnt at Starbucks, they say, "Oh, > >it's a blend. It's a blend. It's a special bean from Argentina....." > > > >The bean is in your head. > > > >And there're no chairs in those Starbucks. Instead, they have these > >high stools. You ever see these stools? You haven't been on a chair > >that high since you were two. Seventy-three year old Jews are climbing > >and climbing to get to the top of the chair. And when they get to the > >top, they can't even drink the coffee because there's 12 people around > >one little table, and everybody's saying, "Excuse me, excuse me, > >excuse me, excuse me....." > > > >Then they can't get off the chair. Old Jews are begging Gentiles, > >"Mister, could you get me off this?" > > > >Do you remember what a cafeteria was? In poor neighborhoods all over > >this country, they went to a cafeteria because there were no waiters > >and no service. And so poor people could save money on a tip. > > > >Cafeterias didn't have regular tables or chairs either. They gave > >coffee to you in a cardboard cup. So because of that you paid less for > >the coffee. You got less, so you paid less. > > > >It's all the same as Starbucks - no chairs, no service, a cardboard > >cup for your coffee - except in Starbucks, the less you get, the more > >it costs. By the time they give you nothing, it's worth four times as > >much. > >Am I exaggerating? Did you ever try to buy a cookie in Starbucks? - -- To unsubscribe, see http://mejac.palo-alto.ca.us/leica-users/unsub.html