[Leica] Banff, Bokeh and Red Dot Menace to Missiles

["Douglas Landrum" <dflandrum@earthlink.net>]

The Banff and altitude threads are interesting.  I am departing for Mammoth
for a week of skiing.  Yes, I am a grayhair, I ski, as the boarders will
attest.  Not only do I ski, I ski on fast GS longboards with mild side
cuts - none of this parabolic stuff for me.  I am taking my M kit as opposed
to the Rs that I prefer.  I think there are five important issues when
skiing with a Leica:
1. Use low contrast color print film - Fuji NPH - then overexpose like
crazy.
2. Or, Use B&W film, overexpose and under develop.  Isn't this the zone
system?
3. Put your M in an ever-ready case.  I just received a beat up one with a
very good DS M3 as a gift from my old Dad.  If you fall, as all good skiers
do, the ever-ready will help prevent the Summicron from creating a Noctilux
in your belly.
4. Make sure all of you red dots are solid on your lenses.  As mentioned in
other posts, if a red dot fails, you will lose all nitrogen in your lens.
Rapid nitrogen loss in a lens at altitude will create your skis to bokeh
immediately resulting in a your bindings to release at speed.  Loss of lens
or ski bokeh has been statistically associated with avalanches in areas
where rescue dogs are not equipped with brandy kegs.  Brandy kegs are not
allowed in mountains in the United States that license federal land.
Alcohol does restore bokeh immediately, but the US federal government is
dedicated to stamping out as much bokeh as possible to allow its missile
defense system to work.  Skiers on bokeh are particularly prone to creating
atmospheric anomalies that enhance light capture with a Leica M but cause
the US missile defense system to default to fussy math resulting in bokeh
hits on enemy ICBMs.
5. Use a Leitz certified funnel - don't leave home without one.  The zone
system does not operate unless a funnel is used.  Ansel Adams had to have
all of his Gortz Daggors specially modified to use genuine Leitz light
funnels to work with the zone system that was created by Socrates.
I would advocate fill flash too, but who wants to put up with a plastic
extension on top of a M camera while skiing.