[Leica] ...OT... humour...

["claire" <clairetm@singnet.com.sg>]

Dear All,
For your reading pleasure...
TMLee

> > WOMAN
> >
> > When a
> > woman is 18,
> > she is a football - 22 men going after her.
> > When
> > she is 28, she
> > is a hockey ball - 8 men going after her.
> > When
> > she is 38, she is
> > a golf ball  - 1 man hitting her.
> > When she is
> > 48, she is a
> > pingpong ball - 2 men pushing to each
> > other.
> >
> > MAN
> >
> > At 20 - A
> > man is like a coconut; so much to
> > offer, so little to give
> > At 30
> > - He is like a durian; dangerous
> > but delicious.
> > At 40 - He is
> > like a water-melon; big, round &
> > juicy.
> > At 50 - He is like a
> > mandarin orange; the season comes
> > once in a year.
> > At 60 - He is
> > just like a raisin; dried out,
> > wrinkled & cheap.
> >
> > Marriage
> > Humour
> >
> > In the beginning, God
> > created earth and rested.
> > Then
> > God created man and
> > rested.
> > Then God created woman. Since then,
> > neither God nor man
> > has
> > rested.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
> > front door, who do you let in first?
> > The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
> >
> > ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> > Marriage is a three ring circus:
> > 1.engagement ring
> > 2.wedding ring
> > 3.suffering
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Married life is very frustrating.
> > In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
> > In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
> > In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish
>and
> > threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too.  But she leaned
> > over
> > too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a
> > while but then smiled "It really works!"
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it
> > because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"
> > Second Guy          : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the
>husband
> > exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
> > The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be
> > here."
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
> > After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
> >
> > ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
> > married?"
> > And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
> >
> >