Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 1998/06/27

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Subject: [Leica] EuroEnglish (new agreement among Euro-countries)
From: Pascal <cyberdog@ibm.net>
Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 16:43:11 +0200

This is  regarding the new agreement among the Euro-countries.

EuroEnglish:
The European Commission has just announced an agreement that English
will be the official language of the European Community (EU) - rather than
German (the other possibility).  As part of the negotiations, Her 
Majesty's
Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement,
and has accepted 5-year phase-in of new rules that would apply to the
language and reclassify it as EuroEnglish. The agreed plan is as follows:

In year 1, the soft 'c' would be replaced by 's'.  Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard 'c' will be replased by 
'k'.
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan now have one less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome 'ph' is replased by 'f'.  This will reduse 'fotograf' by 20%.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptance of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have 
always ben a
deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent 'e's in the language is disgrasful, and they should eliminat
them.
By year 4, peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v' (saving mor keyboard spas).
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of 
leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibil riten styl.  Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech 
ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!