[Leica] Another Leica poem : The Leicaslackers (M2 Division) Lament

[geebee at geebeephoto.com (geebee)]

I wrote this in 2001 just before I started posting PAW and I used to have it 
on my first web site:

Sitting around admiring my Leica

Never dreaming of taking a shot

Dressing it like a chrome coloured Barbie

With the few accessories I?ve got

The incredibly weighty Summicron

The meter, booster and close up specs

The satisfying click as the lens locks

The photo equivalent of sex?



Then one fateful night on the Internet

Just surfing around for a while

An H.C.B. decisive moment

My random, chance encounter with Kyle

He describes my attitude to the Leica

With uncanny insight and precision

He has me rolling around with laughter

And inspires me to a decision



Next time I go out with a camera

No more of equipment overkill

I?ll be travelling light with the Leica

Meter, body and the 50 mill

But talk is cheap unlike the old Leica

And words are much easier than deeds

And I?m soon scouring all of the used ads

To satisfy additional lens needs



This attempt to get value for money

Is going entirely the wrong way

The 35 and 90 Summicrons

Are going to cost several weeks pay

But how can I justify such outlay

When I?m no more than a camera geek?

Then Kyle gives me the justification

I?ll need them for my " picture a week"



I spend one thousand plus on the lenses

In search of good value? That?s funny!

Then of course there is the web site software

Which in turn will cost still more money

I need to get the best from my scanner

So I purchase something called Vuescan

Read about it on the Lug, where else?

I hope it?s not money down the pan



The next software is Cyber View Image

I need it to get a good jpeg

This purchase must be some kind of mistake

It didn?t cost an arm and a leg

I must carry a camera at all times

If I?m to feed the picture a week

Which in turn means a point and shoot camera

One used Minilux. SOLD! To the geek



I know I have to improve my technique

Before I show photos to the group

I need tips about street photography

Best methods, tricks of the trade and soup

My searching takes me to Johnny Deadman

As sites go this is one of the greats

He?s helpful and expert and I?m convinced

I need a Sekonic L308



So it?s back to the ads for a bargain

I know it?s madness! I know I?m skint!

My credit card is frayed at the edges

And there is still no sign of a print

Speaking of prints, I want them in mono

But my printer prints with a red cast



That means the "Peizo plunge" and Cone Software

Stop!! Stop! The money just wont last

But if I stop now it?s been for nothing

Except the fun of owning the gear

But looking again at the lugger sites

Fills me with an all consuming fear

And its funny how everyone else's pictures

Look better when you get your own site



And from being sure that I could hack it

Well; now I only think I just might

There?s Wajsman, Berube and George Callender

Kyle, Tina, Bill in Denver and LeHuray

I will never get results like they do

No matter how I pump in the money

And all those dead links on "who?s doing paw"

What happened? Where are they? What went wrong?



Did they blow out their brains in frustration?

Or quit and sell their gear for a song?

Yet some guys routinely post great pictures

You doubt me? Can I prove it? You bet!

Go check out SonC?s "Kathy" and "Jackson"

And Brownlow pictures jump right out of the set

So now I am faced with a real dilemma

Will picture a week really be fun?



Do I declare my site and post pictures?

Or give in to temptation and run

Do I sit silently in the background?

Read lug postings for my daily fix

Or get out and about with a Leica?

Then give luggers access to my pics

As I take stock of the situation

This one thing is abundantly clear



So far I have spent a bloody fortune

To justify expense on previous gear

Well that?s it. No more fancy equipment

>From now, money goes on film not gear

For better or worse week one is posted

If you want to see it, it?s here. www.g



Sorry luggers I chickened out. I?m sure you are a really nice bunch but I am 
intimidated by the quality of your photography, your
gear, your CV?s. You name it; I?m intimidated by it. Looking on the bright 
side I now have more toys (yes I really did make those
purchases) to play with even though I know money doesn?t make good 
photographs. My web site is up with a few photographs, mainly
Olympus some Leica, to aid with site layout etc. On Jan 1 2002 I fully 
intend to start posting a Leica shot each week but as for
giving you guys the address? I don?t know if I?ll ever have the balls, maybe 
I could buy a set, where?s that credit card?

p.s. love the Minilux, what a pity they don?t do extra lenses for it.