[Leica] review of kyle's show from local philadelphia temperence group

[kcassidy at asc.upenn.edu (Kyle Cassidy)]

This review of my show was posted late last night to a Philadelphia Listserv 
regarding my show (thanks to the luggers who showed up):



Subject: Forces of Temperence Face Mild Set Back at Cassidy Art Opening
From: Ross Bender

Anti-booze forces lost ground tonight when the Kyle Cassidy "art gallery 
opening" turned into the expected drunken brawl, as supposedly staid 
citizens lowered themselves to the level of the beasts of the field in an 
orgy of inebriation, leaving dozens stupefied under the tables in the grip 
of Demon Rum. Grown men and women got themselves plotzed, hammered, fuddled 
and tanked, and by the end of the evening specimens of both sexes were 
dancing lewd and topless on the bar, making Sodom and Gomorrah look 
positively civilized by comparison. A new low in unseemliness was reached as 
loose women cupped their naked breasts in unison around hapless mens ears, 
in a kinky sexual maneuver known as "The Earmuff", an abomination beyond 
even the imaginings of the compilers of the notorious Kama Sutra. 

Temperance Union leaders stated that while they had perhaps lost a skirmish, 
the battle continues, and warned that the forces of sobriety would be out in 
force on Wednesday night Feb. 28th when the new Dock Street "Brew-Pub" opens 
its doors to an early influx of degenerates. Ross "Der Hammer" Bender, who 
suffered a broken nose at the hands of anti-anti-booze militants outside the 
Abbraccio tonight, said from his hospital bed that he considered himself a 
martyr in the cause. 

"Ich bin ein Mennonite," he said, lapsing momentarily into the quaint 
Pennsylvania Dutch dialect of his ancestors, "und ve gentle Mennonites dont 
like to use der Roughshtuff unless there is chust a mighty good reason, but 
chust remember that ve are trained from childhood in the use of  farm 
implements, such as plowshares and pruning hooks. Und a plowshare might do 
some awful serious damage to vun of dese broohaha-pubs dat I haff heard 
about. Dis iss not a threat. Chust sayin. Remember Carrie Nation!" 

-- 
Ross Bender
http://rossbender.org