Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2003/02/13
[Author Prev] [Author Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Author Index] [Topic Index] [Home] [Search]McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card Info > > This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas Website > by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. > > The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the web > > > department take it down immediately (for once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at > the end is worth a read too....) > > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > -- > > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order > to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out > the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is > not required, but the information will help us to develop new products > that best meet your needs and desires. > > 1. Title > > [_] Mr. > [_] Mrs. > [_] Ms. > [_] Miss > [_] Lt. > [_] Gen. > [_] Comrade > [_] Classified > [_] Other > > First Name: ............................................. > Initial: ........ > Last Name:.............................................. > Password: ............................... (max. 8 char) > Code Name:.............................................. > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ...................... > > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase? > > [_] F-14 Tomcat > [_] F-15 Eagle > [_] F-16 Falcon > [_] F-117A Stealth > > [_] Classified > > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): > ......../......./...... > > 4. Serial Number: ......................................... > > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased: > [_] Received as gift / aid package > [_] Catalogue / showroom > [_] Independent arms broker > [_] Mail order > [_] Discount store > [_] Government surplus > [_] Classified > > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas > product you have just purchased: > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up > [_] Store display > [_] Espionage > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally > [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer > [_] Was attacked by one > > > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your > decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product: > > [_] Style / appearance > [_] Speed / maneuverability > [_] Price / value > [_] Comfort / convenience > [_] Kickback / bribe > [_] Recommended by salesperson > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation > [_] Advanced Weapons Systems > [_] Backroom politics > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat > > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used: > > [_] North America > [_] Iraq > [_] Iraq > [_] Aircraft carrier > [_] Iraq > [_] Europe > [_] Iraq > [_] Middle East (not Iraq) > [_] Iraq > [_] Africa > [_] Iraq > [_] Asia / Far East > [_] Iraq > [_] Misc. Third World countries > [_] Iraq > [_] Classified > [_] Iraq > > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to > purchase in the near future: > > [_] Color TV > [_] VCR > [_] ICBM > [_] Killer Satellite > [_] CD Player > [_] Air-to-Air Missiles > [_] Space Shuttle > [_] Home Computer > [_] Nuclear Weapon > > > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate > all that apply:) > > [_] Communist / Socialist > [_] Terrorist > [_] Crazed > [_] Neutral > [_] Democratic > [_] Dictatorship > [_] Corrupt > [_] Primitive / Tribal > > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product? > > [_] Deficit spending > [_] Cash > [_] Suitcases of cocaine > [_] Oil revenues > [_] Personal check > [_] Credit card > [_] Ransom money > [_] Traveler's check > > 12. Your occupation: > > [_] Homemaker > [_] Sales / marketing > [_] Revolutionary > [_] Clerical > [_] Mercenary > [_] Tyrant > [_] Middle management > [_] Eccentric billionaire > [_] Defense Minister / General > [_] Retired > [_] Student > > 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the > interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy > participating on a regular basis: > > [_] Golf > [_] Boating / sailing > [_] Sabotage > [_] Running / jogging > [_] Propaganda / misinformation > [_] Destabilization / overthrow > [_] Default on loans > [_] Gardening > [_] Crafts > [_] Black market / smuggling > [_] Collectibles / collections > [_] Watching sports on TV > [_] Wines > [_] Interrogation / torture > [_] Household pets > [_] Crushing rebellions > [_] Espionage / reconnaissance > [_] Fashion clothing > [_] Border disputes > [_] Mutually Assured Destruction > > > > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your > answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell > Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to > receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, > extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus > for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand > new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: > McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military > Aerospace Division > > IMPORTANT: > > This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) > named above and may contain information that is confidential > privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low > self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If > you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution > or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or > implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. > > Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context > somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or > grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the > transmission of this email, although the pit bull next door is living > on borrowed time, let me tell you. > > Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified > to > learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this > warning > backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, > by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer > you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. > > If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and > egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Sure, you > can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian. - -- To unsubscribe, see http://mejac.palo-alto.ca.us/leica-users/unsub.html