[Leica] emily update....

[Kyle Cassidy <cassidy@netaxs.com>]

since so many people wrote to either a) ask about emily or b) express
their concerns, i thought i'd post an update.

for those of you who don't know, emily's a 23 year old philadelphia model
i met about a year ago. at the time, she was cutting herself, for money,
in private "shows". despite it's gruesome and shocking nature, cutting is
not rare -- in fact, two million american girls do it every year -- mostly
as a result of post traumatic stress. often it is the one thing in their
lives that they can control. 

there was some little stir here on the lug when i posted some photos i'd
taken of her. (this is my first meeting with her, it's not gory)

 http://www.asc.upenn.edu/usr/cassidy/pix/goth/secret/photos.html

now that a year has passed, there have been some significant changes --
she's got an office job, is making decent money, moved out of the
dangerous house where she was living with a nefarious and violent lot, she
and her boyfriend just got an apartment and, for the first time in her
life, she's on her way to getting a bank account.

a recent shot of her in a temporary apartment:

 http://www.asc.upenn.edu/usr/cassidy/pix/goth/secret/7/portrait4.jpg

after she moved out of her place in november, she stayed with a series of
men she didn't like very much. poverty breeds limited choices.

in many many ways, she's still 12 years old. she collects porciline (sp)
carousell (sp) horses, dreams of living on a farm, likes to watch
cartoons, but another part of her is older than i'll ever be -- that's the
angry and jaded side.

she's still cutting (though no longer for money) and she still has a
basket full of problems; she's easily frustrated, still has a short
temper, is very paranoid, she's afraid of people, has very limited social
skils, but overall, she's much better off than she was 12 months ago. 

her boyfriend dotes on her and has her best interests at heart, he's a
decent fellow who puts up with a lot and, i think, really wants to take
care of her.

i doubt that she'll ever stop cutting (america is actually filled with 50
year old women who have been cutting themselves since adolescence) but my
hope was never that, only that she would get to a point where she can
function in normal society.

my latest portrait of her was just last week (some very recent Self
Injury marks evident):

 http://www.asc.upenn.edu/usr/cassidy/pix/paw/2001/24/em800.jpg

her recent acts of SI involve frustrations with getting a place to live
and concern over one of her friends from texas who recently got himself in
a Big Mess of Trouble, but she's talking more to others about the things
that are troubling her. she has no insurance so therapy is not an option,
but i think it would help and she's probably more receptive to it now. as
a child, her parents put her in a series of mental hospitals and she has
nothing but terrible memories. for a long time, she wouldn't even consider
the idea of therapy, but recently she's lamented that she doesn't have the
insurance to cover it.

fwiw:

the time to stop this is in preadolescence. emily started cutting at 10. 
if you know a kid in trouble, do what you can to help them now. remember,
cutting's not the problem, it's the physical manifestation of something
else. love them, trust them; don't judge them. 

some good self injury resources are available on line and anonymously at
Secret Shame:

 http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

thanks for your concern,

kc

"have leica will travel"