Archived posting to the Leica Users Group, 2000/08/29

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Subject: Re: [Leica] Re: Personal portfolios of misery
From: "Ken Iisaka" <ken@iisaka.org>
Date: Tue, 29 Aug 2000 23:03:59 -0700
References: <4.1.20000829144456.037a8600@xsj02.sjs.agilent.com>

As a person who grew up in an abusive environment, I learned to be
self-abusive.  I had attempted suicide numerous times, though I did not
physically harm myself in any other way.  I frankly could not look at Kyle's
photographs without feeling sick in my stomach.  Whenever I see photographs
of myself in these miserable years, I see dark shadows in my face, and I
cannot bear to look at them.

No wonder I got into taking pictures at age 9, because I then would have
been the one to take photographs, and there wouldn't be pictures of myself.
Having my darkroom at age 11 ensured that these images didn't escape my own
confinement.

After an episode of severe depression in my college years that landed me in
a psychiatric ward for a month, and on Prozac for two years, I am seemingly
a well adjusted person in normal situations.  I however carry a baggage that
is usually hidden deep in my soul.  The dark mass surfaces infrequently, but
frequently enough to remind me of how far I have come and how troubled my
childhood and youth were.

Frank, thank you for sharing your own tragedy.  Now with a perfect,
beautiful 5 months old daughter, I have much hope for her future.  My 2 year
7months old son is doing well, but I am sometimes concerned about how he is
so much of a mirror of his father.

Regards,

In reply to: Message from Jim Brick <jim_brick@agilent.com> ([Leica] Re: Personal portfolios of misery)