[Leica] If Bill Gates bought Leica

["Khoffberg" <khoffberg@email.msn.com>]

Redmond.  In a move that is sure to shock the photography world, it was
announced today that Bill Gates has bought Leica.  Or more accurately, his
wife did.

"Well, Bill always said he wanted a Leica," said Melinda French, Bills wife.
"I went to the Internet and I guess I clicked the wrong button on my
browser.  Somehow I got on e-trade instead of e-bay.  It seemed a bit high
for a camera, but then, I'd always heard Leicas were pricey.  I just didn't
realize I'd bought the whole company.  Oh well, it wasn't really that
expensive."

A clearly delighted Gates has already begun to hatch plans for his new
acquisition.  "It's a perfect fit," says Gates.  "Corbis already own the
electronic rights to most of the great Leica photographers, why not the
cameras as well?"

Separately, a Microsoft spokesperson announced a series of new product
initiatives for the new Microsoft division.  First on the list is the
sometimes troubled electronics of the flagship R8.  The newly updated R2000
will feature a new GUI interface built on Windows CE.  The back of the
camera will be replaced with a touch screen that will be nose-activated
allowing the operator to select from among 28 custom programmed functions,
including an internet browser.  Release date is unconfirmed but is thought
to be "sometime late next year."

In a bold bid to cease the high-ground in software standards for handling
analog images, Microsoft also announced a revised set of protocols called
ElmaritNT 2.8 which will feature new .apo and .asph extensions.

Microsoft also announced a long awaited update to the long in the tooth M6.
"Users clearly want more functionality in their photo gear.  Why should they
have to act as their own integrator?"  The new M2000 will feature a fully
integrated metering, autofocus, auto film advance, and web browser that will
allow instant access to the internet from any urban location.  In an effort
to create a true global standard, lens choices will be limited to 50mm
although third party providers are sure to rush additional offerings to
market.

Separately, Sun Microsystems launched their new photography initiative
called Jaba.  Said Sun CEO Scott McNeally, "The camera is dead.  The network
is the camera."

Kevin Hoffberg