[Leica] A Chatterton Story

[Jeff Moore <jbm@instinet.com>]

I've noted a continuing background thread concerning people's reactions to Don 
Chatterton.  It seems they either love him or hate him.  Let me recount my 
first and only Chatterton experience:

I saw an unusually low price on the DCI webpage for new 50/2.8 Elmar-Ms.  The 
price, in combination with my mood that week, popped such a lens into the 
impulse-purchase category.  I called the DCI phone number.

I got a recording stating that everyone was busy, and inviting me to leave a 
message.  I did so.

The next day, a bit over 24 hours later, I hadn't been called back.  I called 
again.  Same recording.  I didn't know if my message had even been received, 
if they were on an extended holiday, if my message had been garbled;  I wanted 
some kind of ACK that communication had actually occurred.  The Chatterton 
phone system offers no option for holding until someone gets to you;  you 
either get a live person on the first ring, or you're at the voice-mail.  So I 
kept calling, hanging up and trying again whenever I got the $#@% machine.  
After a few tries, somebody living *did* pick up.  He was really annoyed,
said I was driving the phone system and people crazy, said they were backed up 
because people were out with the flu, and if I'd left a message I should just 
wait to be called back.

Okay, fine.  Not very satisfying, but seems fair.  It didn't seem that likely 
the transaction would really occur if I waited for a callback -- chances were 
I'd be away from my desk when and if they called back, and would thus waste 
another day playing phone-tag -- so I decided to try another approach.  I 
wrote out exactly what I wanted, where I wanted it shipped, how fast I wanted 
it shipped, full credit-card information, and full contact information on a 
piece of paper and faxed it.

Round about the day the lens was due to arrive, I called the shipping 
destination to see if it'd gotten there.  Nope.  I called Chatterton to make 
sure it'd been shipped.  This time, someone (Chatterton himself, maybe?  I was 
never sure exactly who I was talking to) picked up.

[paraphrasing]

  "So, how 'bout that order I faxed in?  Been shipped?"

  "Nope."

  "Um, why?  Out of product?"

  "Nope, the destination was a Mail Boxes Etcetera in New York.  We keep 
   losing money to fraud when we ship places like that."

  "Did you think maybe you could have TOLD ME you were ignoring my order,
   the order I carefully timed for arrival before the weekend?  Maybe 
   somebody could have CALLED the number on the fax and discussed this 
   with me instead of just silently turfing it?  And besides, the shipping 
   address isn't actually in New York, it's in New Jersey."

  "Whatever, it's all the same place.  And two-thirds of my people are out 
   with the flu."

[I have things shipped to a Mail Boxes Etcetera store because I'm not reliably 
at home to receive shipments, and because the folk who run this MBE are as 
honest as the day is long.  They're such sticklers they still insist on seeing 
ID when I pick things up, even though they know me by sight by now.  UPS or 
FedEx deliveries to my home often find me out.  I *can* receive U.S. Post 
Office deliveries, because they'll deliver a notification and hold a package 
for pickup at the office.  So...]

   "What if I arrange to have that shipping address registered with the 
    credit-card company as an officially-sanctioned destination?"

   "Nope."

   "How about the U. S. Mail?"

   "Nope."

Eventually, the guy volunteered that he could send it COD to a FedEx branch, 
one of which is quite convenient to me.  But by now, it wouldn't arrive 'til 
after the weekend, forcing me to either delay processing the first M6HM 
test-roll I'd be shooting that weekend, or try out the lens on a different 
roll.  (Yeah, poor sad me.)

How'd it all work out?  The lens arrived exactly when he said it would, the 
price was great, and the lens appears to be perfect.  All's well that ends 
well.  Chatterton didn't do anything dishonorable or dishonest, and yes, I 
guess you can't expect a company to handle all usual traffic when operating at 
one-third staff.  But... somehow it still left a bad taste in my mouth.  I 
mean, I wasn't wasting anybody's time schmoozing about collector minutiae and 
not buying anything;  I was trying over and over again to hand them my money 
for product, in the most straightforward way, and it seemed like they couldn't 
be bothered to take it.  Do they do such scary volume that they can do that?

It's the flu.  It must be the flu.