Re: [Leica] Far Off Topic joke Re: Thoughts for Solms on a new G

[dannyg1 <dannyg1@IDT.NET>]

> You don't know Ted well enough to talk about him that way!

Jim,

You've just reminded me of a joke I haven't told in a long while. In the years just 
after the last world war, two brothers: Tevia and Moishe, who were tailors, ran a 
shop in NY.

Tevia was an artisan with fabric but was hopelessly terrible at business matters, 
which were expertly done by brother Moishe. At a most inopportune time, Moishe 
died.

Tevia, beyond being heartsick with grief, finds himself losing control of the business  
fast. Not knowing what to do, he follows his intuition to the local psychic. "I must 
speak with Moishe!" He pleaded to the Madam, "I can't do this without him"

The Madam tells Tevia "There's only so much one can expect. I'll try to speak with 
my spirit but there are no guarantees".

For the first time in a long time, Tevia's luck is good. Moishe's spirit appears on the 
first try. The room rumbles a touch and, in between the Madam's incantations of 
"Moishe. Your brother needs you, he needs to speak with you urgently", Tevia is 
feeling excited. He knows his brother is in the room.

"Moishe", Tevia yells "Is that you? Are you here?"
 
Moishe, clearly bothered, replies: "What? Tevia? I'm napping"

"Moishe, I need your advice. The business... the business is failing, I can't find the 
orders or the prices. I don't know how our accounts work or who our bank is. I 
can't do this. I can't function without you....."

"But, listen to me." Tevia continued, " I'm speaking with my dead brother and all I 
can think of is the business." Tevia starts to weep "Moishe, please forgive me. How 
are you? How's life there?"

"Well Tevia" Moishe answers "There's not much to say about things here. My days 
are long and quiet, I get up in the morning and I have a little breakfast, I take a little 
walk , then I have a little sex, I take a little nap, then I have a little lunch and then I 
do it all again in the afternoons. I'm happy."

"But Tevia," Moishe said "go home and get the books, then bring them back 
tomorrow. I need some sleep now"

"Thank you Moishe" Tevia said, "I'm so glad to hear that life is good for you because 
I love you and miss you so much."

"Tomorrow Tevia. Tomorrow" Moishe said.

Tevia ran home and wrote a list of questions for Moishe to answer. He felt guilty 
about every one but he knew that Moishe loved him too and that he'd gladly help.

The morning came and Tevia, more excited than before, grabbed the books and his 
questons and ran to the pyschic's lair. More quickly than before, Moishe was 
conjured:

"Moishe?" Tevia called.
 Moishe replied "Tevia?"
"Oh Moishe." Tevia blurted with excited speed " I brought the books and I made a 
list of questions. The bank manager says he can help if I give him a list of our assets 
but I don't know where they are, and some kids broke the window but I don't know 
who to call. Where did we get our black serge from? Who is our button guy and 
what did we do with the old clothes? Where.... " 

Slowly, as he sped through his questions, it dawned on Tevia that he'd done it again. 
Without giving Moishe a chance to answer, he stopped cold and said: "Moishe, I'm 
so sorry. Once again, I've been rude and to you; the one I've come to for the help 
that will save me from ruin. I love you and miss you so much, I can't say it with 
words"

"Moishe," Tevia asked, "Tell me more about your days. How are you? Hows life?"

"Tevia", Moishe said, "Don't worry so much. As I said, I'm really fine. My days are 
quiet and long."

" I get up in the morning and I have a little breakfast, then I take a little walk, then I 
have a little sex, I take a little nap, then I have a little lunch, then I take a little walk, 
then I have a little sex, then I take a little nap and I eat a little dinner, then I...."

"Moishe!" Tevia yelled, "_This_ is Heaven?"

"Heaven?.....What Heaven?" Moishe answered,.................... "I'm a cow in Kansas"

Danny Gonzalez